Ay…who decides these things…you could scramble all of them up and you’d convince yourself this one applies to me…whether it’s truly the one meant for “Leo” or “Virgo”…they are all just generalizations that can apply to all of our lives…reading the Daily News, New York’s Hometown Newspaper…Astrologer Jennifer Angel “writes your stars for Monday, March 26, 2007"…I’ll summarize this bullshit for you…
…Aries...What’s she going to predict…that you either had or will have a birthday in the past few or coming weeks…how bold?...not as much as the sauce…Jennifer claims complacency isn’t good for Arians…is there a group that thrives because of complacency…rhetorical…is this group flocking to Oprah and telling her audience the way to achieve your dreams is complacency…rhetorical…of course they are…I did see last Thursday’s episode…update…Oprah has lost weight and still represents all strong black women…back to the Arians…way to go Jennifer…way to inform the Arian Nation to not be complacent…way to tell them to get going on another attempt to take over the world…
…Gemini…Jenny tells the Gems that tomorrow there may be some regrets…and I speculate she’s referring to the possibility of…you waking up tomorrow and realizing she was really a man…
...Leo…Jenny says Leos will be having their relationships dominate the time over the next couple weeks…possibly because of a dispute or somethin’…this blog’s author is a Leo…and Jenny might be right on this one…but like I said, you can convince all these apply to your present situation…I did recently have a boxing match with my cat Cosmo, the successor to Leo Kennedy, the GOAT...yes, she was certainly talented, maintaining felon while also being GOAT (great of all time)…Cosmo gave me a cheap shot that I didn’t appreciate and we haven’t been seeing eye to eye…because if we did, she’d scratch mine out…but I think it’s time to bury that hatchet (which I can’t find so this may be difficult)…bury the hatchet because look at that face…
…Cancer…for Cancer Jenny told them to be complacent…procrastinate…and like Ellen said, “Don’t wait until tomorrow…procrastinate today…”…if Ellen were straight, I’d try to fuck the shit out of her so maybe some of her humor would rub off on me…she's hilarious...
…Scorpio…Jenny tells them to not have high expectations…she’s refer to love…I guess she’s done her research and realized like I have that the majority of Scorpios are gross looking…hideous…Jenny’s telling you Scorpio’s to go for someone on the less attractive side…no sir, keep going…nope…correct…that women is disgusting…she gross…Jenny then talks about writing your love list…when I wrote my love list after I wrote the latest “Sunday Mo Jo” classic, I listed that I want somebody that doesn’t write a love list…
…Sagittarius…-“Right now it’s important to put ‘you’ first”…summarized as…ay, Sagittarius, be selfish…
…Capricorn…Jenny talks to Capricorns about flirting…she advices them to not make any immediate moves…another words…don’t offer the sausage quite yet…make sure you’re 100% sure she don’t have one too…know what I’m sayin’ Capri…Capri boy…
…Aquarius…-“Contacts made now will be profitable in the future”…summarized as…don’t let Kevin Bacon slip away…
…Pisces…-“Analyze a situation from every angle”…try 90 degrees, 80 degrees, 69 degrees, etc, etc…every angle, 1-360…this may take up your whole life, but that’s what you get for listening and believing in this crapolo……no Microsoft Word…I did not mean to type carpool…I meant crapolo...
…WHAT ABOUT THE WAR AGAINST HOROSCOPES?…
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