...war against continued...

Horoscopes - Monday, March 26, 2007

Ay…who decides these things…you could scramble all of them up and you’d convince yourself this one applies to me…whether it’s truly the one meant for “Leo” or “Virgo”…they are all just generalizations that can apply to all of our lives…reading the Daily News, New York’s Hometown Newspaper…Astrologer Jennifer Angel “writes your stars for Monday, March 26, 2007"…I’ll summarize this bullshit for you…

…Aries...What’s she going to predict…that you either had or will have a birthday in the past few or coming weeks…how bold?...not as much as the sauce…Jennifer claims complacency isn’t good for Arians…is there a group that thrives because of complacency…rhetorical…is this group flocking to Oprah and telling her audience the way to achieve your dreams is complacency…rhetorical…of course they are…I did see last Thursday’s episode…update…Oprah has lost weight and still represents all strong black women…back to the Arians…way to go Jennifer…way to inform the Arian Nation to not be complacent…way to tell them to get going on another attempt to take over the world…

…Gemini…Jenny tells the Gems that tomorrow there may be some regrets…and I speculate she’s referring to the possibility of…you waking up tomorrow and realizing she was really a man…

...Leo…Jenny says Leos will be having their relationships dominate the time over the next couple weeks…possibly because of a dispute or somethin’…this blog’s author is a Leo…and Jenny might be right on this one…but like I said, you can convince all these apply to your present situation…I did recently have a boxing match with my cat Cosmo, the successor to Leo Kennedy, the GOAT...yes, she was certainly talented, maintaining felon while also being GOAT (great of all time)…Cosmo gave me a cheap shot that I didn’t appreciate and we haven’t been seeing eye to eye…because if we did, she’d scratch mine out…but I think it’s time to bury that hatchet (which I can’t find so this may be difficult)…bury the hatchet because look at that face…

…Cancer…for Cancer Jenny told them to be complacent…procrastinate…and like Ellen said, “Don’t wait until tomorrow…procrastinate today…”…if Ellen were straight, I’d try to fuck the shit out of her so maybe some of her humor would rub off on me…she's hilarious...

…Scorpio…Jenny tells them to not have high expectations…she’s refer to love…I guess she’s done her research and realized like I have that the majority of Scorpios are gross looking…hideous…Jenny’s telling you Scorpio’s to go for someone on the less attractive side…no sir, keep going…nope…correct…that women is disgusting…she gross…Jenny then talks about writing your love list…when I wrote my love list after I wrote the latest “Sunday Mo Jo” classic, I listed that I want somebody that doesn’t write a love list…

…Sagittarius…-“Right now it’s important to put ‘you’ first”…summarized as…ay, Sagittarius, be selfish…

…Capricorn…Jenny talks to Capricorns about flirting…she advices them to not make any immediate moves…another words…don’t offer the sausage quite yet…make sure you’re 100% sure she don’t have one too…know what I’m sayin’ Capri…Capri boy…

…Aquarius…-“Contacts made now will be profitable in the future”…summarized as…don’t let Kevin Bacon slip away…

…Pisces…-“Analyze a situation from every angle”…try 90 degrees, 80 degrees, 69 degrees, etc, etc…every angle, 1-360…this may take up your whole life, but that’s what you get for listening and believing in this crapolo……no Microsoft Word…I did not mean to type carpool…I meant crapolo...

…WHAT ABOUT THE WAR AGAINST HOROSCOPES?…

...Sunday Mo Jo...

…I checked out a nun today…I don’t know if that’s ok or not…and…I don’t really care if it is or not…well, the movie Swordfish is on…and this means you have an entire country of men…and some women…watching this movie that was pretty much about absolutely nothing…however, Halle Berry is in it…and that might be enough to watch the 2 hour movie…however, she shows off her chibby chongas…however…another one…that was like a triple dose of however right there…this movie's on TV…so I guess this Swordfish TV movie acts as a pop-up like you get on the Internet…telling you to refill your penis pill prescription…and the pop-up gives everyone the clue to turn the TV back to March Madness…put it on mute and go try to download the 2 minute part where Halle...shows off her fun bags…and this unfortunately leads to seeing Billy Bob Thorton’s ass…because now you’re enticed to also download the Monster Balls’ scene where Halle asks Billy Bob to make her feel good…saw some old high school friends last night…and we were incredibly thirsty…unbelievably thirsty…I don’t even believe how thirsty we were…even though we were that thirsty…otherwise why would we have tried to quench this thirst into the early morn…but since I attached unbelievably to the thirsty…I guess it didn’t happen…well, yeah, anyways…this lead to the rule of the first one to pass out gets the privilege of being drawn on…and that’s just the way it goes…we’ll…or I’ll say…because I’m telling thus story…I’ll say the dude that passed out was named Tom at birth…and the Sharpy was broken out…another dude…we’ll…I mean…I’ll call him…dude…wrote on Tom’s feet some vulgar mo jo…and…that should be fun getting off…good luck with that…what did Mr. Bobbit do…to deserve that?...imagine it being sewn back on…the Master’s is coming up…which I’m pretty excited about…you see the advertisements for it with Phil Mickelson deservedly and finally winning one…and he probably got negative inches in the air…it’s like he jumped down, which makes no sense…that he could be that white…it’s almost as if the area he was covering had more gravity…um yeah…I’m watching March Madness and by the way Georgetown just passed the basketball, I’m pretty confidant that there are a few lesbians in the stands that are thinking hard about going wild at halftime…I don’t have any…but something made me pose the question of where my dogs at?...how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood…while typing I nailed the dismount on reciting the wood chuck chuck song…when in reality…which I don’t know about you…I’m living there…the better question is…who cares how much a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?...I was watching women’s basketball yesterday and it seems to me the UCONN Husky women like using penetration and back doors…just a little update on the search…I haven’t found Jesus yet…and yup…our President still isn’t looking for Bin Laden…because he’s still looking for Waldo…it’s just one of dem days…back in elementary school when girls used to chase me at recess…which they don’t do now…when I go to the local recesses…but what would they have done back in elementary school if they caught me?...that would have been coool…what if I chose, as a guy, to chase after them…would this have been allowed…because I would have caught them in 3.6734 seconds…let a second run off to tease them…and then stretch and then catch…equaling 3.6734 seconds…what would I have done if I caught them…I think I’m going to start chasing after females now…of my age of course…I’ll tell them I’m doing research for my blog…I’m a blogger…and for sho…they will be impressed…I asked a female if she had back trouble…that might give you a little idea of her features…why do they call it portal potties…did they have no idea what to call it so they asked a three year old…I’d like to give a shout-out to all those people who would like to give a shout-out…I was riding home on the train today, heading back to my Brooklyn apartment…and I noticed my feet were turned more outward than normal…my normal feet stance is a little inward…I’m slightly bow-legged…not quite a cheetah…but more like an animal that is less bow-legged than a cheetah...I guess this means my great great ancestors…I guess they were pretty great…and they must have hung out with the monkeys…those mo fos we evolved from…and noticed the monkeys feet stance…and emulated this more than per say your ancestors that didn’t hang out with the monkeys…and now they walk around with their feet pointed outward at a ridiculous angle…it should be illegal to have feet pointed out thus far…we need a regulation on feet stances in America…let foreigners walk around like that if they wanna…I’m not even sure if monkeys are bow-legged…but this is a blog…so if I say it’s true…it is…plus I just looked it up at the same time as writing that last sentence, concluding monkeys…they bow-legged…the transition from shaved…to 5 O’Clock shadow…to need a shave for work…to you’re getting lazy…to you’re growing it out for a new look but it’s not really working out…to wait maybe we’ve got something here…to no wait you’re just a bum that hasn’t shaven in a long while…to sophisticated…And there’s a cup of Sunday Mo Jo…

...lil sidebar with a long look in my mirror...

"Hard Look in the Mirror, Take, Why Don't Ya"

...So, I got out of the shower and remembered this lady yesterday told me, "You need to take one real long and hard look in the mirror young man"...at the time, I didn't think much of it, but after I got out of the shower today, I passed the bathroom mirror, caught a glimpse of my firm cheeks, and said, maybe I should look at myself in thus mirror..this was perfect...well...not perfect...because nothing is perfect...unless you practice...but I haven't practiced looking in the mirror, or situations leading to thee...so this wasn't perfect...however, like Ben Harper proposed, "If nothing's perfect, then why the hell is it a word?"...and like Will Smith proclaimed, "Yo, word to Big Bird"...no doubt about that in this situation...I'm glad we've got that resolved...

...So, I thought, well, maybe this situation isn't perfect, but it, nevertheless, IS...so, "to be or not to be"...that is not the question...it is...obviously, to be...otherwise, we wouldn't exist...

...I realized by looking in the mirror, you could accomplish a lot...as conveyed thusly in the last 11 sentences...so, I took the lady's advice, looked in the mirror, downward, and realized I was hard, and was prepared to take this long look in the mirror...

...after looking in the mirror for 24 hours straight, I passed out and hit my head on the tub -- that needs to be cleaned by the way so let's not crack down on this illegal immigration just yet...I guess hitting my head led to me concluding that I should share this story with y'all?...

...so, I looked in da mirror, practicing my alternative faces...

...the fish-face my brother has made legendary...

...the I gotta take a crap face, but I don't want to imply this to the sexual chocolate sitting across from me on the R train face...

...the sure, I'll do that face, countered by the um hell no, I wouldn't do that in a million years face, while subtracting that corny joke of, well, of course you won't because you won't be alive in a million years face...

...I do agree my original face is the best...it's a one and only...

...the I have an itch on my piggy toe of the right foot face, but I don't know how to get rid of it face, other than taking off my shoe, but that makes it difficult to keep writing face...

...lil sidebar from the sidebar......I'm thinking about developing a twitch...I know the ladies like it and G-Man like the ladies...so it only makes common sense that I'd develop a thus twitch...

...back to looking in the mirror...

...to be continued...

...Sub-athon...

...Look...if we don't look out for each other...then who is going to look out for us -- ourselves?...

...No...then that would come under the category of personal responsibility, and I think we can all agree personal responsibility comes under the category of overrated...personal responsibility...I mean, that would leave all the blame of my actions in my ballpark...I need somebody else to blame for my problems and wrongdoings...so, remember we all need to help each other...look out for one another...you know...

...you know...brother to brother...sister to sister...sister to brother...brother that used to be your sister, but had a sex change, but don't worry, she tucks - to sister...or is it to brother?...no, no...it's to ALL...let us simplify and call it -- brother to brother, even though you may be from another mother, and might be a sister, or not a sibling at all...and thus, this includes all brothers and sisters -- not just black people...look out for one another...Class dismissed...

...lil sidebar with "You're Too Much"...

...I think my left one is jealous because for the most part the right one stays more moist...

...He's so anti that he's Anti-anti...

...There are times when I act like a wiseass...we've gone over this before...it is becaue instead of reading them, I sit on books...so, I'll be being a wiseass, and people will say, "Oh, Garrett, you're too much, you're just too much"...in a sense, they're saying, I'm too funny...like, bring it back a notch, that's a litte past my limit of comedy intake..."Garrett, you're too much...you're too funny"...I agree I'm fucking hilarious...I'm a philosopher...however, I disagree that I'm "too much"...what does that even mean?...it's similar, and in a way the opposite, of calling somebody "too racist"..."Yeah, that guy...some call him the government...yeah...he's too racist"...like if he just backed off a little bit, his level of racism would be wildly accepted...

...mentioning philosophy brings up an interesting conundrum...how do philosphers say they're philosophers...because I'm under the impression...the impression is HERE...and I'm under it......under the impression that philosophers pose everything in question form...For example, problems may occur when asked what they do for a living; they respond, "Am I a philosopher?"..."Sir, I don't know, that's why I just asked what you do"..."That can be easily understood if we can find the answer to what does "do" really mean?"...and this concludes my theory that Bill Clinton is a better philosopher than he was a president - as you recall he posed the question for what the meaning of "is" - is...class dissmissed...

...Sub-athon...

...the guessing game begins with it's between a Gary and a George...no...it's not Greg...no, I'm not Gina...not even close...go sit down and think about the consequences of such a rediculous suggestion...Gordy...now, in about 35 seconds I'm going to tell you to sit down and ponder too...however, first I want you to realize that mirrors do exist and I look nothing like a Gordy...in fact, there are not enough Gordys in this world for anybody to look like Gordy...there are those that you look at and say, "Yeah, that dude's a Robert, and that dude's a Charlie, and that dude's a Dick...no doubt about it, that guy is a Dick"...under no circumstance do you see somebody for the first time and think it's a gordy...put this in your notes...

...Hey Dick...put this in your notes...

...My name isn't Dick...it's Raheem...

...Well, Raheem...your parents misnamed you...you're definetly a Dick...what's your last name?...

...Raheem...

...Well, Dick, it looks like I'm doing you a favor...because Raheem Raheem is rediculous...for now on write on your papers on the nameline, Dick Raheem...it gives it some meat, and fits your persona well...because when people see you for the first time...they say, "Yeah, that guy's a Dick...a real"...Shut yo mouth...

...Class dismissed...

...lil sidebar at the gentlemen's club...

...the problem with substitute teaching is that you get the slightest implication the students like you, they will walk all over you...similar to strippers...and you're at the strip club after killing at least 8 beers...because you don't walk into a gentlemen's club sober...otherwise, you ain't a gentleman...you look to see if the club has any Asian "dancers"...and they don't...they never do when I go...or you go...I don't go to these places...this story is about you...stay focused...focused on the dance routine..."Left Tit" worked on it all last night - into the early morn...show some respect...her name is "Left Tit" because it's the one that has been done...she's saving her tips for the right chonga...so you sit down, front row, and you've settled for the blond...you're lopsided, leaning to the left...you make political statements with your wad of Washington’s...we'll see what this blond can do for that wad...you place one one on the edge...and that's where you and Steven Tyler are living tonight..."work in a cubicle all week Charlie is away for the weekend...leave a message -- 'Mohegan Sun'"..."Left Tit" comes over after "doing a little dance", pushes her cans together, looks you directly in the left ear because she's crossed-eyed, and now you think see wants to "get down tonight"...she takes the dollar, sticks it in your mouth, and takes it back with her cleavage...you feel some peach fuzz...but you're satisfied because The done can touched your left ear...she must agree with your politics...your self-esteem has risen, among other things, and you feel the jealous eyes of other pigs on ya...all of this to be completely shut down and reversed because "Left Tit" spends the next half hour with the 45 year old that pretends he's a gentleman twice a day, 7 days a week...I guess she didn't want me...I mean you, and neither do these students...they just use you...it's exactly the same scenario...

...start spreading the news...

...the Kennedy Brothas are starting a band...

...Johnny K is playing guitar and is getting mad at the instrument like it's doing something wrong...he calls it a sloppy note...I call it a punk rocker that needs to practice...not more, but period...he's gonna practice then go back to Fed Ex and they'll think he was at the crossroads...I feel an energy in this Brooklyn apartment...the Kennedy brothers are on their way toward recording their first album...before the first album comes through, we have to learn how to play the guitar though...so we purchased "The Complete Idiot's Guide - Playing the Guitar"...I recall being in the bookstore and also seeing "The Idiot's Guide To Forming Your Own Band"...talk about your American Idol influenced society -- first we're told who our idols are (Kelly Clarkson truly is mine) and now we have a guide on how to form your own band...Now - everyone that doesn't know how to play guitar, and needs a book to help out, isn't an idiot...however, if you've received your new edition of Webster (the little black kid's book of words) then you will see a picture of some smuck next to the word "idiot" with "The Idiot's Guide TO Forming Your Own Band" in hand...although, I do recall hearing that before the Raconteurs formed, Jack White visited his local Borders, purchased this here book, had Meg read it out loud to him, and concluded he needs to call Brendan Benson and the Greenhornes bassist and drummer - to form the Raconteurs...there was an earlier verson of this "Idiots Guide" and John Lennon was the first to read it...he concluded he should team up with newfound friend Paul, and the most popular band ever was born...all thanks to "Idiots Guide"...Now...in all honesty...I haven't given up on the guitar verson...and as soon as that is completed, me and K-Man will be creating our album that will be a mix of Dylan, Strummer, White, Harper and Rock-N-Rita...look forward to that...sometime next decade...it's a large book...for idiots...

...a need to get this off my chest...

...other than this freaking sweater...thanks dad!...

...I once took a shit on the golf course…at the next hole I wiped for the portal potty was there…

...lil sidebar with stealing from a...

...You know who I’d like to meet…no, not Michael Jordan…no not Derek Jeter…no not Larry David…no not even Jessica Alba or any Asian Delight…no, not them…not Jesus…I’d like to meet the person that stole candy from a baby …the inspiration for that stupid fucking expression that we all except…this I will no longer stand for - - “It’s like stealing candy from a baby”…I know it is only an expression; however, most expressions come out of life experiences we all have gone through…raise your hand if you have ever stolen candy from a baby…and Chuck, our security guard, will you please see it these people get the chair…..sell drugs to kids…feed them the worst food out there…even candy…but stealing their candy is where I draw the line…see, in order for this expression to have been given birth, there is some motherfucker that stole candy from a baby…now like everything, for instance, it’s the parents fault…in this situation it is the baby’s parents fault…where were they?...and why did they give their baby candy…and this episode started a revolution of baby candy being stolen…I think that is what Halloween is about…baby reparations for their stolen candy…

...Sunday Mo Jo...

...lil sidebar with the continued Sub-athon...

…I’m the Mariano Rivera of substitute teaching…subs are similar to relief pitchers…subbed 2nd graders today and these are my observations…March 13, 2007…

…2 crazy aunts story -- …we were in the middle of Bernard Waber’s But Names Will Never Hurt…which is false because one of the graders called another poopypants and got really upset…I think her soul was damaged…she told me so and so called me poopypants…now usually in this situation I tell the munchkins that I do not care who called who what…I tell them I’m in the middle of writing this blog and they need to go eat more of that delicious looking snack of animal crackers and generic chocolate sauce…however, in the situation today, I had to agree…so and so called so and so poopypants and I had to agree with this assessment…sometimes the truth hurts…I told so and so they were the epitome of a poopypants…told her to look it up, using Webster (the little black kid’s dictionary)…-“You’ll find a picture of yourself there…next to poopypants”…

…anyways…on with Waber’s false story…in the middle of reading this to the munchkins, one girl raised her hand politely and I calculated that she probably has something useful to add to the story…and she tells me she has two crazy aunts out of nowhere…and I pursued to tell her that the two aunts probably say they have one crazy niece…later in the day, the 2 crazy aunts girl gave me a drawing, writing the following:

“Dear Misise Kenidea. you are the best teacher in the holl school. and you are Kinde to us and you are gode you graeat my faeavit teacher and you teach us to do stofe”

…I think we found my future writing partner…after that…maybe she isn’t crazy after all…she did declare and reserve me as the best teacher…this is similar to the first sport team's use of “our fans are the best fans in the world”…and this is why at the after after party for the Colt's Superbowl victory Payton Manning declared, “we have the 2nd best fans in the world…some Greek team back in the day already reserved their fans as the best.”…now you know teachers…if the kids say I’m the best, it has to be true…

…Silent reading is the art of shutting your beak when reading…most students don’t grasp the art form yet…but they learning…they learning…during silent reading today, one student pounded her desk with her fists for no reason…I told her unless she was reading the Instructional Fist Pounding Yo Desk Reader Volume 1, there was no reason to be doing so…Volume 2 deals more with dealing with your annoying classmates that are annoyed that you're pounding your desk when they are trying to master the art of silent reading…

…There’s often 10 minutes before lunch…time to clean up…the class does so…desks cleaned and crap is off the floor…-“Class…please get up quietly, push in your seats and line up for lunch”…And half the classes pencils fall out of their desk to the floor…for now on before lunch I tell the munchkins to make sure their pencils are already on the floor and if they aren’t they owe me 10…I received a free hoagie today…

…prep…just learned how to make a question mark on my phone…I’m pretty excited……Everybody threw up today…or at least claimed to have…that was much more original when I used to fake sick back in the day…used to go home all the time, holding my stomach, saying, “I don’t feel good”…I got home, watched Ninja Turtles, ate Devil Dogs, and ironically, hours later after finishing the anthology and conquering a full box of Devils, my stomach really did hurt…I told the kids this story…taught them about Karma…told them they’ll catch 22 and that’s worse than an ach in the stomach...class dismissed...

...lil sidebar with Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants...

...title referring to Dan Pilkey's latest effort...again...another author using the fragile imagination of our youth’s to put cheese in his already too tight pants...subbed for first grade today and one of the first graders was polluting his or her mind with Pilkey’s book……usage of the his or her was intended…pollution is not sexiest…however, I’m certain men are better at it…this pollution of the mind leads to other such things I observed during this Monday, another day of my Sub-athon…many think it’s just an intermediate stage in the life of Garrett Kennedy…no…this is my career…accept it mom (Rockin’ Rita)…just because mom is a rock star…doesn’t mean her son has to follow in the womanizing footsteps…my youthful mind was not polluted with such Satanic mo jo…

…the problem here is…the youthful minds that are polluted with books such as Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants grow up to become parents…they feed their children this propaganda and this leads to what I observed today…a first grader today that was wearing his Green Bay Packer sweat shirt and sweat pants was reading the Boogie Woogie Man…I didn’t catch the author because I began reading this when I was in first grade and……look…l don’t want to talk about it…the Boogie Woogie Man scares the shit out of me…and it must have scared this Green Bay Packer...because the whole day after Reading Centers…it smelled like shit…he’s gonna need a new Packer suit…I also saw another first grader wearing a “G-Unit” sweatshirt…this is the latest get-up from rapper 50 Cent (better known by really white and old white accountants as Fiddy Cent)…one first grader now wants to be a Professor, feeding our college students liberal crap…and the other wants to be a gangster…what about the good old dreams of the good old days of wanting to grow up to be a fireman or an astronaut…my next peace will dissect my theory about the myth of kids growing up wanting to be firemen and astronauts…nobody really does this…but that’s for the next discussion…

…I also observed that some of these first graders were reading children’s books that were larger than they were…no wonder Rockin Rita has back trouble…she used to read the same enlarged fables…lesson of the day…kids…put down the books and turn the TV back on…keeps the back strong…makes ya hair curly……until you turn like 25 and it all falls outs…probably from the books…class dismissed…

...lil sidebar with women's history month...

...apparently it is women's history month...black people had their month in February, and March is women’s turn...you see what's happening here people...the months designated for Jesus are vanishing...people even now mistake the song as "12 days of Christmas"...it used to be "12 Months of Christmas"...but now that blacks and women want their slice of equality, Jesus only has 10 months...and I'm sure there is another recently completely made up month designated for...something like special kids month...which should be shut down because as you can see I am no longer a kid...I was a special kid...still am special but no longer kid...that leaves only 9 months for Christ...and plus...women and blacks want equality...there is no month dedicated to the "regular Joe"...so if they want equality...they should be ignored like Joe...now his last name may be Smo...but at least he ain't no Ho...like Jane Doe...ohhhhhhhhhhhh......a lot of people went home after that one...the above boils down to what Fox news channel keeps talking about...and that's the war on Christmas...it's very alive...and I think another month was just taken by illegal aliens...yup...April has now been declared illegal aliens month...I think our country can be genius...but at times stupid enough to declare a month for people that broke the law.....wait a second...this is genius...in April, for their month, they will celebrate, parading the streets...we'll tap them on the shoulder and say Got Cha...time to leave...but before ya go...my lawn needs cutting...ohhhhhhhh...settle down people...it's not April yet...you can discriminate against people that just want a better life and do jobs nobody else would even consider doing...it's also not February anymore...so now we can start mocking this Obama character that thinks he's going to be the first black president...and after March is over...we can start laughing at Hilary again...and to sum up women's history month, let us place a picture of Oprah on this here blog...because she is a strong black women...and I spell it correctly in this case because Oprah represents all women...they strong...I am glad as men we do not have one man that represents us...all men for themselves...if this were really true...men for themselves...we would be a hungry and wrinkled species...thanks women...ohhhhhh...apparently I do kid...one last note on women……I recently dropped my daughter off at college…she’s becoming a woman…I dropped her off…gave her a big hug…told her I loved her……and told her to take it like a champ…happy Women’s History Month…

...war against continued...

…we’ve talked about this before…how I dislike writing reviews on books and things…and part of this is because I can’t read so that makes it difficult to review writing – similar to the difficulties of a deaf person reviewing music…or a blind person reviewing beauty…basically what I’m getting at is that I know what it must be like to be blind or deaf…Furthermore…or less…I dislike reviewing also because there is a fear of sounding like the following – I was reading up on the latest issue of The New Yorker, a sub teacher’s usual prep ritual – magically I can read this magazine…it does exist!...there was an AD for T. Jefferson Parker’s latest effort Storm Runners…If I were to read it and review it passing in conversation with a cracker of mine that needs some new reading material to get hip to some shit most crackers skip through and keep on the bookshelf, I would call this book “excellent”…some dude referred to as Kirkus, I quote, reviewed book as “…superbly wrought…intensely readable.”…-“How readable was it?”…-“Intensely”…yeah, ok…What does “intensely readable” even mean?...however, that quote is intense in itself and therefore a quality quote that human-beings with half a brain will say, “Oh, it’s intensely readable…sounds like my kind of book…I’m going to buy it”…What about the war against these book reviewers and movie critics that make up descriptions, get paid for it, and they don’t make any sense…here are some examples…

“Inventive”…writing…inventive…that can’t be possible…what if it weren’t inventive…could it still exist…

…more stupid reviews at later date…