Initiation Tool - create "Morning Pages", writing 3 pages longhand every morning (90 days straight)Sat. Sept. 4 - "Morning Pages" - Day #25 - Think Coffee, Bowery, Manhattan
On the train ride to nowhere, but ending up at Think Coffee, a coffee place on the corner of Bowery/Bleecker, I jotted down in my Moleskine, a bunch:
- relate Moleskine to Bible, etc. and what's more insane; imagine me reciting these, like the middle urinal metaphor, like some recite prayers on subways...
- because I've wanted, wished, and stared at too many walls not to pursue...
On this train ride, I'm writing, and again, listening to Bob Dylan. His music makes me feel like I'm traveling somewhere, there's nothing like it. It feels good when you feel like you're heading somewhere. The only thing that's better is those moments with family and friends when you can forget about going anywhere, satisfied, without knowing, that you are where you are, present...and that's the most important thing...the Asian guy across from me on this train is present, presently watching me write...while I listen to Dylan list what he saw, I list what I see...and the man in gray tight jeans, Cons, and a black button-down, flipped his Ipod, searching, aren't we all momma!...
I think about writing, and staring at that blank legal pad I write on most of the time these days...plans of creating something, whatever it is, or will be, it didn't exist yesterday...or seconds before I placed this pen to paper...it's a cool feeling, somewhat insane idea, but solacing to look back at what I've created...It's too hard to plan everything, that's just not the way life is, so why should writing be...while others plan, I want to be busy writing...I already spent years planning, nothing, planning, dreaming, wishing about days I'd sit and write...others are busy accepting lives and careers that already exist...and I realize, it's time to do the writing, wishing is essentially forever window shopping...in ones mind...it's time to do the work...
- streets connecting to Broadway...broadway to success...what people do to get there...(I had gotten off the train, and jotted that down in Moleskine, on my way to Think Coffee...
I race to my table to write this down, I came up with some good stuff while relieving myself in Think Coffee's bathroom...and you'll know it's good stuff once you've finished reading, you won't?
Thought: You would think a coffee place on the Bowery of Manhattan, CBGB's around here?, no it deceased...would think this place, where people wear t-shirts saying, "Protect me from what I want", and a place where people purchase over priced coffee, 3.25?, would be more environmental, but, no...it takes two covers to cover this ice coffee, another customer informed me after seeing my failed attempts with the usual, and more environmental, one cover...and I say, you would think, because I've been to the crossroads, the ones blues singers talk about, the place where they sell their soul, and I've seen the hypocrisies, but can't spell the word, of man...no...this I haven't done, but it sounded good in my head, leading me to think...and you should notice the start of this paragraph, look back, it says "thought:", and I just said "leading me to think"...this equals "a think" within "a thought", and I just blew your mind, I didn't?...but back to the, leading me to think -- what sounds good in your head, doesn't, when you write it down, and it's read...it's been entertaining though, right?...nevertheless...alwaysthemore...is there an opposite of "the" so that can be complete?...
...I tell myself to change to writing on that legal pad and develop further...go into how, maybe, being a hypocrite is human, and you, again, claiming to be so humane, but calls out hypocrisy, well, apparently isn't so humane...people shall be hypocrites to a certain degree...not to the degree that they receive a diploma, an actual degree in hypocrisy, but allowing us to talk about things without reservation, and down the road being able to change our minds without humility, or being called hypocrites by others...of course I'm a hypocrite because I said, like a political belief, that I'd switch to the legal pad, but haven't yet, I guess I'm human after all...despite all the blogs saying and campaigning otherwise...ok, switch time...and take a sip of my $3.25 coffee...that I've slammed other people for buying before, etc. whatever, switch to legal pad...for real this time...this wavering about switching writing palettes makes me think about all the days I thought about writing, staring at walls, oh the novels, novellas, I wrote in my head staring at "that" wall, it's a good wall...when I do finally decide to switch to the legal pad, I tell myself to go into...pause...take another sip...it really is better than that deli coffee, it's not?...again, I've ranted about coffee like this one, and then am hypocritical for buying it -- or maybe, people rant before they become...eh, let's do that switch now, I feel claustrophobic writing in this Moleskine, still impressed?...maybe claustrophobic like how people would feel if they couldn't change their opinions about anything and were called hypocrites every time they said they were going to do something, but didn't, etc. whatever...change to legal pad...the problem is, I keep wanting to change, but then think I thought of another good idea, too good to possibly forget on my way to grabbing the pad out of my bag...it's too hard to organize all these ideas in such little lines -- so really, switch to legal pad...(check legal pad for rest, I wrote)...
...the rest, from legal pad, continued from Moleskine...
...I see two other guys writing in this cafe...I'm so much like them...they are nothing like me...
...I wrote the above, reread it, and laughed at myself, and Moleskine...sometimes you've just got to...
...I walked out my building in Bay Ridge Brooklyn, heading out to find a place to write earlier today. This was after "Not Yoko", by now you should know is my girlfriend, and I had breakfast at a diner, the waitress asking if we were ready, me saying, and never didn't mean something more in my life, "I was born ready"...we ate, and on our way back to our apartments, she suggested places to write, topics to write about...all were good ideas that I said I'll use, but who knows, who knows...My idea of these "Morning Pages" is to not have topics, or a destination place to write at, ahead of time. So, good ideas for a later date, "Not Yoko"...but, I got on the train with no idea of where I'd get off to write...I got on the train, put on my headphones, some ideas came to my mind, and I thought, maybe I'll get out at Atlantic Avenue, in Brooklyn, to write at the library just outside that stop...but as I approached Atlantic, I was writing in "Moleskine", and didn't want to stop, so kept going...I crossed Brooklyn to Manhattan, eventually getting to Broadway, and got off after thinking of what I wrote in a paper in college; wrote: There's not a Broadway to everybody's success...so inspirational, again, I agree...This was specifically referring to the idea that everyone isn't a star on Broadway, etc. whatever...that's the direct and literal interpretation...but of course, I've thought of another metaphor, and have switched my mind -- maybe, yes, there is a broadway to success, I'm learning that more everyday...well, I'll skip the learning for a few days, but then the lessons creep in, later, down a road...thinking about all my friends and what they're doing with their lives, it's funny what people become, I mean, I met that guy Nate when we were 9, and he couldn't make a sandwich if his life depended on it...but, then you think about that, if you're life depended on whether you could make a good sandwich...that would make making (almost the double make, it that possible?...anything is, it's not?) a sandwich quite difficult...many say, referring to a basketball player, "Man, that guy couldn't make a free throw if his life depended on it"...imagine the piss running down your shaking legs when you attempt a free throw that determines whether you continue living or not (Imagine!)...But, back to Nate and his sandwiches...another take is that if you realize your life depends on your ability to make a sandwich, well, that's disheartening, and another reflection, adding more questions to how'd life get to this place, how'd I get to this road, am I on the road to success?...well, Nate got that promotion, he's becoming pro, maybe announcing it soon on ESPN, but who knows...he's got his path, or so he thinks, I've got mine...Later, I will look up streets connecting to Broadway and it will inspire that metaphor that there is a broadway to success, it won't?...there isn't?...
What else I wrote in Moleskine on that train ride: relate Moleskine to Bible, etc. and what's more insane; imagine me reciting these, like middle urinal metaphor, like some recite prayers on subways...
...The middle urinal metaphor is a reference from a previous "Morning Pages". I won't go into it that much now, just imagine what that could possibly mean if you missed that post (Imagine!), or check back here...I'm going to sign off for today's "Morning Pages", and leave you with what else I wrote in my Moleskine during that train ride...I'm not getting lazy, I just like what I'm getting at, again, in this writing...I will organize these ideas at a later date...but I do like what I'm getting at...and at the top of one of the legal pad pages, that I did eventually switch to, I jotted: writing more - but less organized - but guessing in end it'll be better writing...how to slow down mind, or do I want to...
...This is a reference to me jumping from Moleskine to legal pad, and soon will be dismounting today's pages with something I jotted in the back of Ms. Cameron's book The Right to Write -- seemingly unorganized -- all a metaphor for what seems to be unorganized, or unconventional, way to success, actually is conventional, humane, etc. whatever. My train's coming, metaphorically, right?...signs are there....listening to, really listening to, not just a writer's bullshit attempt to inspire...I'm listening to The Velvet Underground's Train Coming Round Bend, and I think - for now on I'm going to list the songs I'm listening to while writing, these songs really do become the soundtracks to our lives...
Jotted again: writing insomnia Inception Beautiful Mind, etc. what yvette said yesterday, wondering if she knows the real me, etc...
Band -- Organized Chaos, or, Intelligent Chaos...
Jotted, in back of Ms. Cameron's The Right to Write: I'll care when the song stops...but I'm in the zone the second the needle drops...I'll care when the casket locks.
...And I'll say, I've learned, but don't really know, that hard work rarely goes unrewarded...I guess it's something we eventually have to believe...
...Is this a book, a screenplay in the works, a song crying out to momma, asking can you please spare another couple hundred because I'm short on rent again???...who knows...
...Also jotted in the back of that book: ...she said I was a writer, a free spirit...my instinct told me, that's the last thing I am -- but maybe what I'm becoming...maybe I'm the last to be knowing...I hope I get this knowledge for Christmas...put it on my wish list.
What else I wrote in Moleskine on that train ride: relate Moleskine to Bible, etc. and what's more insane; imagine me reciting these, like middle urinal metaphor, like some recite prayers on subways...
...The middle urinal metaphor is a reference from a previous "Morning Pages". I won't go into it that much now, just imagine what that could possibly mean if you missed that post (Imagine!), or check back here...I'm going to sign off for today's "Morning Pages", and leave you with what else I wrote in my Moleskine during that train ride...I'm not getting lazy, I just like what I'm getting at, again, in this writing...I will organize these ideas at a later date...but I do like what I'm getting at...and at the top of one of the legal pad pages, that I did eventually switch to, I jotted: writing more - but less organized - but guessing in end it'll be better writing...how to slow down mind, or do I want to...
...This is a reference to me jumping from Moleskine to legal pad, and soon will be dismounting today's pages with something I jotted in the back of Ms. Cameron's book The Right to Write -- seemingly unorganized -- all a metaphor for what seems to be unorganized, or unconventional, way to success, actually is conventional, humane, etc. whatever. My train's coming, metaphorically, right?...signs are there....listening to, really listening to, not just a writer's bullshit attempt to inspire...I'm listening to The Velvet Underground's Train Coming Round Bend, and I think - for now on I'm going to list the songs I'm listening to while writing, these songs really do become the soundtracks to our lives...
Jotted again: writing insomnia Inception Beautiful Mind, etc. what yvette said yesterday, wondering if she knows the real me, etc...
Band -- Organized Chaos, or, Intelligent Chaos...
Jotted, in back of Ms. Cameron's The Right to Write: I'll care when the song stops...but I'm in the zone the second the needle drops...I'll care when the casket locks.
...And I'll say, I've learned, but don't really know, that hard work rarely goes unrewarded...I guess it's something we eventually have to believe...
...Is this a book, a screenplay in the works, a song crying out to momma, asking can you please spare another couple hundred because I'm short on rent again???...who knows...
...Also jotted in the back of that book: ...she said I was a writer, a free spirit...my instinct told me, that's the last thing I am -- but maybe what I'm becoming...maybe I'm the last to be knowing...I hope I get this knowledge for Christmas...put it on my wish list.
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