Initiation Tool - create "Morning Pages", writing 3 pages longhand every morning (90 days straight)Tues. Aug. 24, 2010 - "Morning Pages" - Day #14 - Sitting again, Cobble Hill Brooklyn
Again, I'm writing in order to stay awake. The other day, I think it was actually yesterday, how the memory goes, fails us...fuck you memory, the part of the brain, not that game that I'd kick your ass in, I wouldn't?...Yesterday was the day I was scared to get caught writing while watching after kids. Getting caught writing isn't anything bad, there's just something inside of me, or maybe all of us, that's paranoid. However, getting caught sleeping on the job, well, not so good. Another however though...however, I dare you to catch me sleeping. The father of the kids I'm looking after today will be home in about 1 hour. I'm going to have a hard time making it awake. So, again, I'm writing this to stay awake. I've said that this past year I have slept much better than the previous 4 years, but for some reason lately, the last month or so, I haven't been sleeping great, last night being of of those bad nights. Sleeping and my problems with it, was a great writing topic to choose, good going Garrett. It's acting like a good cup of coffee right now. Obviously I'm being sarcastic because coffee would inspire much better writing than this. Let's change topics and see if it actually makes a difference.
...
Somebody mentioned skinny jeans, which made me announce, "I'm not sure if I'm mentally prepared yet to wear skinny jeans...but I think we all agree that physically I am"...But, apparently this morning I thought I was prepared mentally and physically to rock this new purple, "The Black Dog", t-shirt my mom(s) got me. All the Barney jokes are hilarious and should be written down and brought to the Improv to be performed. Yes, it's purple, another good choice by a Kennedy family member, thanks mom(s). My girlfriend said not many guys can pull off wearing a purple shirt, and I'm not one of those guys. So, I counter punched, saying that not many girls can pull off being a bitch, and she's not one of them. Should I apologize just in case? Stella got her groove back (or so see thinks) which means she must have lost it. Well, "Not Yoko" never lost her sense of humor which means she doesn't have to look for it, and I shouldn't have to apologize, love you too. She knows I would never really call her that, she doesn't? This is where changing topics has lead me, another, I said, another good decision.
In the margins I wrote: Good decisions are good, but bad decisions make you learn, and in due time give you the ability to make better decisions. Often there are multiple good decisions to be made. The more you live, the more your ability to make the better decision improves...and of course...it doesn't?
I'm struggling right now, as you know, with this writing, and to stay awake. It truly is an every other day struggle (Biggie Smalls y'all). To help with this writing I take a look in my Moleskine, endless ideas in there, many of which, I do agree, will one day win Idea-Awards, they won't? Written inside there is a reminder to start practicing bookjacket pictures (give a few examples at later date)...Inside there is also some knowledge, telling me that I should learn to read/write standing up because it's so hard to get all of this down without falling asleep, especially as an insomniac, falling asleep when I don't want to, of course. Then below that piece (of shit) knowledge I've written:
Writing is dreaming,
Dreaming is writing,
Insomnia isn't sleeping,
So in order for an insomniac to dream,
He must write...
Take a nap Garrett...oh, ok...never considered that option...forever thanks...
...I put the Moleskine away - because it feels like I'm cheating - but I guess I've realized there really is no cheating with writing...you either do it, or don't. period...
The kids come into the kitchen, I hide the writing. I just don't feel like answering questions about what I'm writing - because really, what do you call this?...this one certainly isn't comedy, it feels more like tragedy, I'm writing tragedies, I'm not? No, I'm not...oh, yeah, back to my idea from before - these are insomniac dreams, ok, I'll go with that. I've heard the market's in huge demand for stories like that. If I sound discouraged, I am, but not because today's writing might not amount to my best, but more so because my head seriously hurts due to last night's horrible sleep. What's discouraging is that I've been writing a lot lately, as all of you know, you read my blog (this crap) all the time. It's almost like since I've been writing more, I've been sleeping less. This makes no sense because to see this writing piling up on my blog is encouraging...pause...take a break to stay awake...be back in 5...
Ended up taking a peach break. This more than likely will be as exciting news for the reader as it was for me. Recently I just enjoyed my first peach. I kind of have a phobia about trying new food, yes, at some point in my life I was scared to try a peach - so, if you don't try a peach at an early age, chances are you will forget people actually eat those and you won't think to eat one until much later in life. I purchased a bag of peaches last week, I recall texting my girlfriend, "I'm enjoying my first self-picked fresh peach." I was excited, and had sticky fingers. And yes, I was wondering where Sticky Fingaz, the rapper, was too. Who knows, yeah...However, I don't think I picked good ones, well, or just bit into one too soon. I bit into one and said, "Oh, this is hard", and of course, Michael Scott from the Office said, "That's what she said"...My brother heard what had happened and said, "Quick, get the peach-tape, where's the damn peach-tape?". Apparently there's tape to replace a bite for a peach not ripe yet, place it over the bite, wait a day, try a bite again - Peach-Tape. Oh, and of course I'm thinking this whole discovery of the peach-tape is also discovering another useful metaphor. Like the peach-tape fixing up a too-soon-bitten peach, well, I'm going to go to Staples and get some writing-tape, and tape up this writing. But for now, I still haven't fallen asleep. Writing did its job for today. It kept me awake. Not quite as funny as the Barney jokes earlier, but those saying my writing didn't keep them awake, well, go to Staples and purchase some imagination-tape - for you bit into that part of your brain way too soon - not even close to being ripe.
...I put the Moleskine away - because it feels like I'm cheating - but I guess I've realized there really is no cheating with writing...you either do it, or don't. period...
The kids come into the kitchen, I hide the writing. I just don't feel like answering questions about what I'm writing - because really, what do you call this?...this one certainly isn't comedy, it feels more like tragedy, I'm writing tragedies, I'm not? No, I'm not...oh, yeah, back to my idea from before - these are insomniac dreams, ok, I'll go with that. I've heard the market's in huge demand for stories like that. If I sound discouraged, I am, but not because today's writing might not amount to my best, but more so because my head seriously hurts due to last night's horrible sleep. What's discouraging is that I've been writing a lot lately, as all of you know, you read my blog (this crap) all the time. It's almost like since I've been writing more, I've been sleeping less. This makes no sense because to see this writing piling up on my blog is encouraging...pause...take a break to stay awake...be back in 5...
Ended up taking a peach break. This more than likely will be as exciting news for the reader as it was for me. Recently I just enjoyed my first peach. I kind of have a phobia about trying new food, yes, at some point in my life I was scared to try a peach - so, if you don't try a peach at an early age, chances are you will forget people actually eat those and you won't think to eat one until much later in life. I purchased a bag of peaches last week, I recall texting my girlfriend, "I'm enjoying my first self-picked fresh peach." I was excited, and had sticky fingers. And yes, I was wondering where Sticky Fingaz, the rapper, was too. Who knows, yeah...However, I don't think I picked good ones, well, or just bit into one too soon. I bit into one and said, "Oh, this is hard", and of course, Michael Scott from the Office said, "That's what she said"...My brother heard what had happened and said, "Quick, get the peach-tape, where's the damn peach-tape?". Apparently there's tape to replace a bite for a peach not ripe yet, place it over the bite, wait a day, try a bite again - Peach-Tape. Oh, and of course I'm thinking this whole discovery of the peach-tape is also discovering another useful metaphor. Like the peach-tape fixing up a too-soon-bitten peach, well, I'm going to go to Staples and get some writing-tape, and tape up this writing. But for now, I still haven't fallen asleep. Writing did its job for today. It kept me awake. Not quite as funny as the Barney jokes earlier, but those saying my writing didn't keep them awake, well, go to Staples and purchase some imagination-tape - for you bit into that part of your brain way too soon - not even close to being ripe.
No comments:
Post a Comment