…I’ve completely lost my zone…my sleeping zone…I used to have a zone…we all have this…or had it…it’s similar to the zone Jordan got in when he couldn’t miss…the sleeping zone is when all positions are comfortable…I could have my legs in the air and sleep tight if I were in that zone…but nope…I’ve completely lost my zone…I knew this a long time ago…but was just in denial…this morning I came to grips…whatever that means…came to grips when I couldn’t fall asleep from 2:30 AM to 5:30 AM…I had awakened to take an unexpected crap at 2:27…finished that shit in 3 minutes…there was nothing flat about it…so I went back to bed with a feeling of accomplishment…but 3 freaking hours later I was still awake…I looked over to my brother...yes he sleeps in the same room…awesome…it’s like we’re kids again…except I slept then…I was a nasty sleeper as a kid…could have won tournaments…I looked over at my brother…the nerve he’s got…he’s lying on his back, both hands are behind his head, and he’s playing the nose trumpet that sounds like an elementary school kid, that ain’t in the Special and Talented Program, wailing away, practicing “Mary Had A Little Lamb” for the upcoming recital…the performing blew massive cookie chunks…but he was having a ball…he was in his zone…what a dick…
…I admit I was jealous…so I started smacking the wall, yelling, “Shut the fuck up”…I took his snoring as a personal insult…he knew I wasn’t in the zone and wanted to rub it in…there is no solo trumpet in that fucking lamb song…
…have you noticed…and if you haven’t…you should have…people get mad at others for stuff like snoring…like how dare he snore when I’m trying to sleep…another example is when someone really sets a bomb off in the bathroom…like how dare your shit smell so bad…
…anyways…I need to get my zone back…I’m thinking about putting a cooling device in my pillow so both sides are considered the cool side of the pillow…cool pillow is essential to the zone emerging…you ain’t got no cool pillow, that zone is not coming to fruition…
...any other ideas?...I'm game for almost anything...but like Meat Loaf said "...but I won't do that"...
…I admit I was jealous…so I started smacking the wall, yelling, “Shut the fuck up”…I took his snoring as a personal insult…he knew I wasn’t in the zone and wanted to rub it in…there is no solo trumpet in that fucking lamb song…
…have you noticed…and if you haven’t…you should have…people get mad at others for stuff like snoring…like how dare he snore when I’m trying to sleep…another example is when someone really sets a bomb off in the bathroom…like how dare your shit smell so bad…
…anyways…I need to get my zone back…I’m thinking about putting a cooling device in my pillow so both sides are considered the cool side of the pillow…cool pillow is essential to the zone emerging…you ain’t got no cool pillow, that zone is not coming to fruition…
...any other ideas?...I'm game for almost anything...but like Meat Loaf said "...but I won't do that"...
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