- Phone rings...my brother answers, and casually says, "Who the fuck is this?"...and then breaks into Biggie Smalls' song..."paging me at 5:46 in the morning, crack of dawnin, now I'm yawnin, wipe the cold out my eye"...
- Say goodbye to people at a party...and tell them, "Don't move your pivot foot"...walk away...
- "Are you more like your mom or dad?"..."I'm more like my cat"...
- Show about pitching shows...example, pitching show about our cat Bob...today's episode he sits in our apartment's new box...he doesn't?...just did and it just got a thousand hits on Youtube, dude...
- Every kid left back wasn't stupid (except yours)...every kid moved forward, or put in the "gifted and talented program", was not a genius (except mine)...Continue this and relate to art, etc....Most just middle of the road motherfuckers, just trying to earn a buck, looking for some luck...
- My walk / Tiger Woods' swing comparison...how people wonder why I'd change it when it's already perfected...so they think (thank)...
- I am a writer...if there ever was one...recite that line like it's already been sung...a familiar territory...like the words have already come out your lung...
- Excuse me, sir, you're fly is down...No it's not...Now it is...
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