..."We're Not John and Yoko"...good decisions and breakfast...

I'm not bragging, but we've got two cats, Bobby Dylan and Bumble.  We live in a junior one bedroom in Brooklyn Heights.  We make good decisions most of the time.  And, one of those good decisions concerns the placement of the cats' "shit box".  We keep it in the living room by the desk in the corner near the closet.  We like to give you useless information on occasion - like where we keep a shit box.  Nevertheless, I know we all agree that the placement was a good decision.  It allows the following:  We can do leisurely activities, such as, sit at that desk next to the shit box and write a "Daily Nugget" while inhaling the fumes of a delicious mixture of "Bumble Pie", "Bobby's Potent New Poem" and "Honeydew Melon".  It's up to you to decipher which is the burning candle.  Also, we like to keep our clothes in our closet, not our sexuality.  We may be enjoying our weekend off, with our clothes off.  We don't consider anything inappropriate here because we are adults "here", but don't have to pretend to be that over "there" - like "those" "people".  So, we let our work clothes have the weekend off too.  "They" chill in that closet next to the shit box, absorbing those three candles-a-burning that we discussed earlier...before I passed out while writing this here "nugget" next to the shit box.  This allows us to go into the next week of work, us and our clothes rested, and letting everyone at work experience those three candles too, the clothes wearing them.  I agree, we are so unselfish.  The placement of the shit box is also good because it's not in our bedroom.  But, it's close enough to our bedroom so we can wake up early on a weekend morning and ask ourselves, "Is that Bumble cooking bacon and eggs?".  And, on that note, we are going to sign off and go enjoy today's breakfast.  Enjoy yours.

...my new "Art"...

..."need a dump truck, baby, to unload my head"...

--- --- ---

...Pick up the carton of caffeine 

Before you've finished the previous sip

With constant movements

Its got you ripped

With stuttered ambitions and words

Each cheek shakes your hips

And you're in constant shift

What was meant to give you temporary lift

Provided you with a lack of grip

You read today's headlines

For today's daily tip

But it does not fit

For that shoe wasn't stitched for your soul

And within it

It leaves an empty pit...

--- --- ---

Nobody know

Nobody care

We all floating along

In our own rocking chair...

And, as they say

We play

And walk the cliche...

Now, we may

Often speak the same words

But have our own tone

While walking in the same direction

We each have uniqueness to which we roam...

And never before 

Did I see so clearly

The cliches of life

Staring back at me...

I feel more awake and alive past midnight

Than 'round supper time

I can't taste clearly

But that's how I see

When the sun comes up

And lights us a brand new day

And on we continue walking cliche...

And in the midst of all this there's a song

And in the midst of all that there's a war

All this while they do yoga in the park

Can someone else's words

Can someone else's death

Spark purposeful direction

Or shall we sit and wait for another hopeful election...

I don't know

I don't even know my own name

You're a lost soul

When somebody yells your name

And you yell back

Oh yeah, I once knew him

When on the next break to sin

Think back to then

And ask would he proceed

And do the opposite...

I need that cliche

Just to walk some way

I need that song

Just to carry on

I need that war

To convince myself

I have more than that guy to live for

I need my pet

Maybe more than you

Please don't get upset

For he'll never let me think otherwise...

Take out a pencil

If they still exist

And add question marks

To everything I've ever written

So nobody catches me in the act

Of not knowing...

Show me something, lord

I may start believing in god -

Just for its acoustics...

And, do you think if I told you

That your vision will come to fruition

This road along the way would be less hellish...

And, it's got me thinking

That you're the only one

That's got me considering

Erasing that punctuation...

--- --- ---

...Been straining on this train

Trying to get your attention

We haven't made eye contact

But my permanent state's called confusion

And it's convincing me there's a connection

My stop's at the next station

Doors open

The forever commotion

And in my mind nod to say

Have a nice life

Or at least start with a good day

We had a good ride

I hope the tide pulls us together again

But in reality you're just as good as an Internet friend

Please at least accept that ship

I've certainly sailed this one

And didn't move one foot

My mind's taken me places

I have no proof

'cept these lines

I have and will leave no other traces...

--- --- ---

...Missed High-Five...

...My whole life feels like a missed high-five...You know that feeling...even if you're very athletic, very coordinated, you can miss that five...and, all of a sudden, you feel like a douche bag...there is no escaping it...So, you look around, hoping nobody saw it...and, just in case there's a chance someone did, you try to blame the other person, but also quickly give the five another try...You know "that" feeling, you do...And, well, that's the way I personally feel all the time...So, in the case when I miss that five, I say, "Oh, I know this feeling...it feels just like I felt just before the five"...The five, whether missed or not, actually provides me a little break from that feeling...Then, again, whether landed or missed, a five doesn't take long, that feeling for me returns...awesome...

...Two Guys in Front a Deli...

A: See that guy over there?

B: What guy?

A: That guy

B: Oh yeah, you know that guy?

A: No

B: Then what about him?

A: I hate that guy

B: Why do you hate that guy?

(A looks at B like how could you ask such a question)

A: Just look at 'em

B: Oh yeah, I hate that guy too

(pause)


A: See that guy over there?

B: What guy?

A: That guy

B: Oh yeah, you hate that guy too?

A: No, I love that guy

B: Why do you love that guy?

A: It's called feelings...you just get a feeling, you know, a gut feeling...you should know something about that

(A slaps B's gut)

B: Feels like I've had this conversation before...but looking in the mirror - "I love that guy"..."I hate that guy"...

...Millbrook - Pinot Noir 2009...

Cracking open a bottle of Pinot, after devouring an Arugula frozen pizza, is "what's up" for "We're Not John and Yoko" this Sunday evening. The bottle, a house warming gift, CAN be shorthanded by me as simply "Pinot" - because I saw Sideways - and, "We're not drinking fucking Merlot". I usually quench my thirst with beer, but recently turned twenty nine, and other than having dreams of one day becoming a "strong black woman" (fingers crossed), I aspire to be a whino - exhibited by my posturing of crossed legs, holding my glass higher than anyone's comfort-level, and asking "Not Yoko", "Can I pull this look off?"...Before she could answer, I added, "Maybe if I was wearing a suit" - took a sip in conviction of my self-suggestion. I want to be able to describe what I'm tasting - rookie mistake - You're supposed to smell the aromas first! I jumped into the description, "I sense a hint of raspberry" - and my mind cut short, it's not convinced enough, yet, of its intelligence to come up with useless descriptions - but still wanted to add, "...blended with cherries"...This description is courtesy of EmpireWine.com, a site that popped up after searching "Millbrook Pinot Noir 2009" before the "dinner party" - that I never attended, but would like to pretend I could "dinner party" one day (fingers crossed)...I misquoted the site, and in response to the future email/complaint I'll receive from EmpireWine.com, I do not apologize...in fact, apologizing has become so out of control "these days" (like quotations) that "people" that request apologies should do the apologizing - quietly to themselves for being such douchbags...EmpireWine.com's description - "Fresh aromas of red raspberry, cherry and violet are followed by bright flavors of pomegranate, tart cherry with a racy acidity and a long, fruit-driven finish". My real description - "Did you taste it yet?...It's good...yeah, it's pretty good...it's a lighter red than most red wines, isn't it?...mmmm, it's really good...if you don't have some soon, I'm going to finish the bottle...mind if I finish the bottle?"...Bottle finished.

To-Do list (fo today)

Below is my To-Do list for today...I'd like to point out that it is now 4:06 AM and I haven't fallen asleep yet...and you can probably tell that I'm ecstatic because look at how much day I have ahead of myself to get all of my To-Do list done...do not copy...or I'm telling...remember the days of "I'm telling"...well, if you don't, and you do copy - I'm telling!...here's the list:

1. Make today's To-Do list

2. Heavily consider erasing To-Do list from blog (so motherfuckers don't copy)

3. Tell Bob Dylan (my house cat) (apartment cat) "good jump Bob"...I truly enjoy telling my cat that his jump from here to there (where he jumped is neither here nor there) was "good"..."Good jump Bob...good jump"...I can't wait to do this later...often he jumps and I compliment him right there and here...and, often, later in the day, I compliment him for his jump from earlier in the day..."That was a good jump Bob...earlier in the day...good jump"

4. Ask Not Yoko (my girlfriend) if "house cat" is one word

5. Check #4 because she said "housecat" is one word (blogger disagrees!)

6. Ask if "apartment cat" should be one word then too

7. Get Not Yoko a tissue

8. Wipe Bumble's, Not Yoko's apartmentcat's, snot off my forehead (mo fo just sneezed on me)

9. Tell Not Yoko, "I am not delirious...it's just funny"...she called me delirious...I can't repeat on here what I called her

10. Point to the sky (for many reason...but mostly for Jesus)

11. Bike on stationary-bike...then tell Bob he can have "next"...or he can have "now"...get off bike if Bob wants "now"

12. Answer fan mail

13. Ask Not Yoko if "fan mail" is one word

14. Check #13...she "thinks so...or it's hyphenated"

15. Get "some" sleep...so you really don't become delirious

16. Finish To-Do list after you get that sleep

I miss Bob...I'm going to go compliment him on his "good jump" from yesterday...it was actually a really good jump...then I'm going to get that sleep...I'll sign back on later to finish this To-Do list...

...Scraps-n-Drafts...

- Commercial - have female doing yoga on rug...male looking at her like what the hell is she doing...he looks at beer glass and confirms that it's the better form of meditation...

- I told a pizza place what I told my girlfriend...if it doesn't fit...get a bigger box...

- Staring Contest as a sporting event...Bring IT!...

- I think about my life and what I've dedicated it to...the most work I've put into something ever...the most I've cared about something was in elementary school...during recess we had to take one lap around the playground...and, I had to be first...someday I'd like to put that passion into my writing...

- Nose hair joke - I feel different today...don't feel like myself...I feel lighter..."What you do?...I cut some nose hair...

- Subway station..."Which way you going?"..."Ok, I'll go this way then"...

- Good thing I wrote the above joke...that'll be the break through one...fo show...

- Skit (for kids!...yeah!)...skit is Andy Sandberg playing Mark Wahlberg talking to animals, a remake of that SNL skit...have some kids being the animals and other kids auditioning for Mark Wahlberg -- "No! You're just being Mark Walhberg. We want you playing Andy Sandberg playing Mark Wahlberg...Yes, I know. He had it easier...he's already Andy Sandberg"...

- People are getting older faster these days...I'm not sure why...maybe something is in the water...or, the chicken...one of the two...probably...

- On train - look at person across from me...roll eyes...for no reason it seems...but, I've got my reasons...get your own...Jerry Sloan...rhyming off the top of my dome...at a later date, dissect my constant struggle to spell the word "rhyme"...rime...r-hime...rim...no, that's rim, as in "Above the Rim", or slightly below, in my case...

- Add to looking at person on train / taking notes of them idea - - they notice you taking notes...they wonder, "Why would someone take notes of me...I suck"...I know you suck, sir...it says so on this here pad...I mean...you're just sitting there...why don't you get up and do something with your life...

- I have a passion for watching the weather channel...so much so that I haven't gone outside in years to actually see any weather...

- Idea - list great experiences ones had in life...a long list of great vacations and accomplishments...but end list with saying - "You haven't lived until...you have thrown a behind-the-back-boogey-pass"...just ask Steve Nash...Johnny Cash don't know...

- Picture / Thousand words..."Yeah, ok"...Take pictures and assume all of them say exactly 1,000 words...write essay conveying what it says in 1,000 words...

- How many times do I have to say
that I know that you know
in order for both of us to know
that both of us don't know...
...and, on we row...or don't...

- Shut up, Garrett

- Take a picture of me
as I look away
and then look back
with an expression like maybe
you don't know, but I know
what is fact
And, just because
I may lack the skills
to articulate thus
Doesn't mean that
the truth isn't such...

- Conviction Essay - write long essay about conviction...do it tomorrow...or next year...and, give examples of people that have unwavering conviction...relate to how I will never succeed at making people laugh until I apply this conviction to what I think is funny...my conviction can start and be based upon my conviction for how much I love my house cat...and how that conviction can teach us all a lesson...I mean...lessons...

...all I'm asking for...

...all I'm asking for...a couple times a year...oh Lord...

...Not Yoko, the better smelling half of the indie-rock slash gangsta rap duo We're Not John and Yoko, brought to my attention (me being Not John) what is most important in life - - the small things...we were kickin' it on this lovely Saturday July summer day, after a late night out with friends and other people who think that we are friends...Facebook has blurred friendship so much that even "THAT" guy thinks I am friends with him..."THAT" guy enjoys pulp in his OJ (Simpson) and I cannot trust anyone that enjoys a meal and a beverage simultaneously...eat then drink...or, drink then eat...If you wondered why you blew up the office bathroom so badly the night of the Office Christmas party that the stank still lingers...well, the answer is because you ate and drank at the same time...I think...anyways, you are getting off topic...the small things...and, well, trust...I cannot trust anyone that doesn't enjoy what Not Yoko brought to my attention while we were weighted to the bed this whole day, nursing the mixture of too many beverages, lack of sleep and Chinese take-out...and come to think of it, I have not had this enjoyment in a long time...all I'm asking for is...a couple times a year...for earwax to fall out my ear...I do not know if that has been pronounced as a national past-time, but for centuries motherfuckers have been overcoming the blues by realizing the enjoyment of the "small things"..."If only 'She' could," the small footed man said...small things - like the enjoyment of earwax falling from ones ear unexpectedly...tell me you have never experienced this enjoyment...and I'll tell you I am looking at a lying-man. While Abe Lincoln was contemplating how to save The Union, stress built up and so did wax up on in them ears...he loved this country...he saw that the continuous of slavery could be the downfall of the nation he was elected to run...but he was "honest"...with others, and himself...so honest, he should have been nicknamed "something" to convey this...he was torn...honesty told him he enjoyed his slaves making him Strawberry smoothies, and providing him late-night bedtime stories and rub-n-tugs that only "friends" could provide...so the legend tells...depression hit...he even started drinking OJ...with pulp...he needed an outlet...he should have gone to the Nike outlets...they have great sales on sweet sneakers that 12 year-old "slaves" stitch to perfection...One day Abe awoke, much like We're Not John and Yoko did today...he walked to the kitchen...looked in the fridge and asked his slave to pour a "tall" glass of OJ...sipped it...and...earwax fell upon his shoulder...he took it off his shoulder...examined it, rolling it between his thumb, pointer and middle finger...word is he even tossed it in the air and caught it a couple times...then tossed it in the fridge at the carton of pulped-OJ...smiling...enjoying the little things...

...Abe realized..."He didn't?"...he realized the OJ needed to be freed from this pulp...just like the slaves from their owners...the little things people...all I'm asking for is that earwax falls out my ear a couple times a year...a rhyme that only a non-pulp drinking motherfucker could create...the small things people...the small things...a belief an Irishman has to prescribe to.

...end of class speech...

...Let's talk about greatness...Everybody dreams about it...from the greatness of athletes and their performances on the biggest of stages...to actors on stages, some less lit off Broadway, but the greatness none less greater than those on the biggest of screens...to doctors performing never before surgeries...and teachers inspiring our world's future athletes, doctors and teachers, and world leaders...Greatness...

...This isn't a Nike commercial...or just a reflection of greatness in ones personal journal...what about greatness that isn't on the biggest screens...greatness that seeks no big stage and stays in the shade...Obviously I'm getting at imagining the day that person was home alone, coffee and other such things a-brewing...the tree did make a sound when nobody was around to hear it -- for shit stinks just as badly when nobody else is around to smell it...what I'm getting at is the greatness of the day that person was alone at home and took the greatest shit of all time...

...Ok, class dismissed...reflect on that until next class... ...

...Scraps-n-Drafts...

...I told my girlfriend to take it like a man...

..."Did somebody write that down?"...

..."I'm an animal lover," my brother said...but added, "I'd don't think I'd ever put that in writing"...I would...did...

..."On second thought, this is a great gift"..."On third...no, it's not"...

..."Do you have any gum?"..."Yes...want a piece?"..."No thanks"...

...Just pretend I'm not even here...I don't even have to pretend...I don't know exactly where I am...but certainly not here...

...Alcohol commercial: just show a man's shoes with a bottle next to them on the floor...(man's worn shoes, having a drink after a hard days work)...

...Get on a stage...but tell audience to excuse you because you have to go to the bathroom...walk off stage and say it went away...where'd it go?...every time you get on stage you have to go to the bathroom...you get off and it goes away...opposite of bathroom stage freight...

...I'm going to describe the indescribable...I'm going to write what words can't explain...

...The idea that I think it's funny makes it funny...

...Treadmill idea: running on it...person next to me says, "Boy, you're racing"...out of breath, I say, "Trying to get there"...

...Album title: I like How Your Shirt's Tucked Into Your Boxers...

..."Ladies and Gentlemen...'Licking Knives'"...

...Sitcom called..."Relax...Oh, ok"...
...someone told me to relax...I said, "Oh, ok...I didn't think of that...thanks...should I eat 3 meals a day too?...or is it now 5?...or 6?...how about a peanut every other minute?...how many meals would that be?...every minute would have been ridiculous to say...

...a nod from a stranger / a reminder / I'm still alive...

...Add to list of hobbies / or simply things I enjoy: scratching off the crusty thing underneath a Dunkin Donuts coffee container...it's a good time...similar to the fun of pushing down the buttons atop a soft drink you get at McDonald's that say diet, etc....both are two of America's greatest past-times...they aren't?...

..."Do I have a good chew?...some people are all over the place or too up and down, too chompy"...

...You smell like chicken wings...no, but that's a good thing...

...My tweets on Twitter always say, "Not reading your tweets"...

...Dissect usage of words draw and drawer...

...Skit about reading these ideas I come up with on trains like those that say prayers on trains do...how insane do you have to be?...

...Sitcom: Elementary school kids have meetings before school about how they are going to mess up teacher's day...for example...today Barry-Joe is going to make comments about the cat's ass in today's read-aloud story...and all the kids are going to have a case of the jimmy-legs during spelling class...And, during share, all kids are going to tell stories that make no sense and they will end without the proper voice ending so you don't know they are finished...and we're going to laugh at things that aren't close to being funny, but we're kids so we can laugh at anything...Sally is gonna often repeat things that other students already said and play if off like she wasn't even in the same room...but all these are premeditated and given during the pre-school meeting...Have a leader of the class running the meeting...giving each student their annoyance of the day...another example...Michael is the leader and tells Mathew, "You are going to stand on your head or sit in odd positions on the rug during lessons and story time...the teacher is going to tell you to stop and think you have attention-span problems, but then we will all laugh, and our teacher won't understand why we're all laughing, and she'll play it off that we are just kids being kids...they don't know about these meetings"...

...Tell the audience that your act is filled with "you should have been there" jokes...

..."Don't put that cup on that coaster...it's a brand new coaster"...

...looking for job!...updates coming soon...like that job!...

...We've Got Rules!...

(READ IN A BROOKLYN ACCENT)

We've got rules and agreements in this society...like if I'm walking home with these groceries in this hand, this coffee in my other hand, and I drop the coffee, I don't pick it up...someone else will come by later and pick it up...and I can move on with my day that was almost ruined by my dropped coffee...and move on without the litterer (er, er) guilt...Yeah, that's one of the agreements, and many more are to come.

RIP White Stripes...

..."need a dump truck, baby, to unload my head"...Insomniac...

...I see the morning light

I see the morning light
Well, it's not because
I'm an early riser
I didn't go to sleep last night...

...Bob Dylan lyric from Walkin' Down the Line, a song I first heard from my latest purchase, Bob Dylan - The Witmark Demos: 1962-1964.

...It's like having a brand new, or two, Dylan albums...check it out...nothing has been more of a remedy to my insomnia than his voice...I don't know if that's completely true...but I do know it's not completely false...whatever that means...I shouldn't have written that and left you wondering if I was trying to be funny or deep...or something...can you say "or something" after "deep"...I know the answer to that is 100% "Yes" - because I just did...anyways...it's fun to just look at the above picture...and wonder...I advise you to do so...while I unload this dump truck...

Looking into an empty room
I like seeing instruments just sitting there
And wonder about the possibilities
that can be put into the air
I too, like looking at still-photographs
of an artist just sitting
I know she's thinking of what the future's going to be bringing
And what about the moment of silence
before one starts singing
That moment of conception or creation
Put a pen to pad
And whatever's jotted is foreverlasting
Can leave us crying, balling
tears running
or laughing
Not thinking about it
But the next moment could be crashing
Things aren't in the process of
Or we don't notice the process, "stopping"
Things just.