Initiation Tool - create "Morning Pages", writing 3 pages longhand every morning (90 days straight)Sat. Aug. 14, 2010 - "Morning Pages" Day #4 - Overlooking the Verizono Bridge
When did we decide that "this" is the way we're going to talk to animals. This came to mind after walking passed a woman in this park near the Verizono Bridge talking to her dog like it was a newborn baby - "Do you want me to throw the ball, do you want me to, I'll throw it if you want me to, yeah boy, yeah." Why we decided to talk to babies "that" way is another discussion. I'm not sure what park this is or if it meets the specific qualifications of what makes up a park...but I'm also not sure that specifying which park it is is (the double is) needed. It's a park, or has surroundings that may lead someone to believe it might be a park, and that's enough info about the park -- What? You don't believe I'm in a park? I'm a good writer, but I can't make up this stuff, create fiction like this. That woman really talked like that to her dog. She wasn't alone either. She was with her friend, or "friend". There's one thing to talk to your pet "that" way alone. There's many things we do alone that we wouldn't consider doing in front of other people - and this enables society to work. This woman should consider leaving "that" voice behind walls. Next time she talks like that in public she should be locked up. I know the prisons are overcrowded so let the drug dealers out and put this woman in. One things for sure, putting people in prison for dealing, or using drugs, will never stop the use of drugs. But, you put a woman in prison for talking to her pet like "that" and she'll get the message - - the text message to her cell phone that she probably keeps in her Fanny pack. I told you I'd bring up Fanny packs again. I will not allow them to dictate today's "Morning Pages" though. Let's proceed to talk about how we talk to our pets, and others if we have time. Are you taking notes yet?
Back to the woman and, well, it's caught me again - her Fanny pack. I just wanted to clarify this. Before we waste jail space on this woman, we should consider the idea that she more than likely is a huge fan of Starbucks. After talking to her dog "that" way, she more than likely asked her friend, forgetting to stop talking in "that" voice, "Do you want to go to Starbucks, do you, we can go to Starbucks if you want to?" What I'm getting at here people is that people that love-love (not love-enjoy) Starbucks are the same people that wear Fanny packs and talk to their pets like "that" in front of other people. Forget jail, ship this woman, and those alike, to Starbucksland. I can see it now. Everybody walking around double-fisting their Starbucks' ice coffees that they now advertise have Milk! - when didn't they? They're walking their pets with their "friends" and talking to them "that" way except much faster because they're coked-up, coffee-ed-up, caffeine-ed-up on all that Starbucks (say it in a Boston accent, say it! Starbucks). Even the pets are drinking Starbucks, but shitting everywhere because that new invention of milk in ice coffee doesn't sit well with their stomachs. But no need to worry. Sally (woman's name "is" Sally, it's not?) has plenty of napkins in her Fanny pack to clean up the feces. Now, I don't believe in segregation (what a noble belief). Well, except in the above cases. Speaking of segregation, I think we've got another group that should be shipped to Starbucksland. By the way, although only in my imagination, like Ted in my last "Morning Pages', Starbucksland "is" located in the Heartland of America - whatever that is - because all those that speak of the Heartland like it actually exists and keeps America's heartbeat going, well, they belong in Starbucksland too. So, instead of shipping all those Mo Foes (that's what they're, they're not?) elsewhere, keep them stationary and Starbucksland shall be built around them.
Others that belong in Starbucksland - speaking of segregation, are those that claim they have a favorite president - like, "Yeah, I do like Barack, and in due time, he might be...but yeah, Lincoln is my favorite president." I understand people are historians and have studied history enough to have presidents they dislike, or like, most. But, to declare who's your favorite president is ridiculous, it's not? And, it's the cliche to say Lincoln's your favorite. It's usually either Lincoln or Reagan. That's similar to saying your favorite band is The Rolling Stones or The Beatles. My favorite musician is Bob Dylan, and no, that's not cliche - it's just the way - it should be, it's not? Like that dude "I'll never forget oh what's his name" in that "I'll never forget oh what's that documentaries name" said, "The Stones and Beatles sang for girls. Dylan sang for real men." No, he didn't pen love songs for men. Add yourself to the list of those soon to be shipped to Starbucksland - oh, and your Fanny pack's buckle just snapped and fell to the ground and landed in dog shit, the dog that decided to shit knowing where you'd be walking because he's sick of you talking to him in "that" voice. Basically what I'm getting at (basically) is that Lincoln was right to end slavery. He's my favorite president by the way. But, this country was wrong to end segregation. We just need the correct segregation, we don't? In case you didn't comprehend this whole thing, I will repeat it on a podcast airing soon - recited completely in "that" voice.
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