…I once got stuck in our local Walmart for a week…you know…this Walmart’s automatic doors were broken…and if we as Americans start opening doors again, the terrorists win…after a week, I finally slipped out when a misses opened the door in front of me, supplying me that automatic door…while I was there I tried on all the clothes in the store…jeans, sneakers, socks, lady garments…but what happens at Walmart stays at Walmart…unless of course you actually buy that crap they sell and wear it in the real world…crossing my fingers, waiting on my application to gain access into that place…some of you are probably wearing what I tried on…unfortunately for you, I had the major runs that week…tell Al Gore about that inconvenient truth…as I walked out the store, the misses, my automatic door, smiled at me and said, “Have a nice day”…and I responded, “Don’t tell me what to do”…then my mom told me to move out the house…yeah, I texted my mom to come to Walmart and open the door for me…I told her it was for the troops…she hopped in her SUV, going 90 on the main roads and 20 on the highway…my mom, better known as Rock-n-Rita, had declared me missing…she ordered our local police department, consisting of all my old high school friends, to find me…during that week you could find me in the local grocery stores on milk cartons…the chocolate milk only though…my mom knows I think drinking just white milk is racist…gotta even things out here…also find my picture posted on trees in da neighborhood…either my old friends suck at hide-and-seek – still…or they just didn’t look in our local Walmart…and this makes sense because I’ve always been known for being anti-Walmart…that’s why I try on all the clothes and hopefully ruin them…because like all you know…I am anti-Walmart and anti-sleep…shits just a fad…we aren’t in the 90s anymore…but I am also now anti-shower…well, because I’ve grown my orange hair out and now have dreads…which makes coffee drinking difficult and hairy…and there’s a Cup of Sunday Mo Jo…
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