Tuesday, August 07, 2007

...Is He Black Enough?...

The verdicts in and Barack can thank his relations to Kevin Bacon for it...Presidential Candidate Barack Obama is essentially Kevin Bacon's best friend...the two have never met but mide as well have...now, we are all separated from Mr. I name myself after the pig food by 6 degrees...depending on what state you reside in determines whether it's Celsius or Fahrenheit...so, we are all at 6 degrees lengths of the Bacon-myster...however, Barack is closer and concludes the question on all American minds, "Is Barack Obama black enough?"...whether I think so or not...HE IS...I'd say let me explain...but major league baseball player Gary Sheffield determines this for the black community...maybe one day white people will get their own community...keep your fingers crossed...even better...add an exponent to that mo fo and keep your fingers crossed while overlapping the cross while listening to Kris-Kross (spell check, or don't because it doesn't really matter)...I will explain Obama's qualifications by paraphrazing Gary Sheffield...
"...the leg bone is connected to the...other bone...etc...just like we are all connected to Kevin Bacon...why does this make Obama black enough and if so why aren't we all black enough then?...if you're asking that question then you're not black enough...so exit the conversation...we keep it in the community...Obama is closer to Bacon than 6 degrees...if you saw a few months ago, Obama was politicing on 60 Minutes with his wife...if you saw this, you heard Obama joking about his children wanting a doggy-dog...reported a few weeks after that interview was that Obama finally gave in and purchased a puppy...it's so so cute...the ears are the floppy kind that you can't resist playing with...some claim Obama just got the dog because of 'politics as usual'...'these people' claiming the dog was bought just so Obama wasn't seen as someone neglecting his children...probably true, but has nothing to do with why he's black enough...the new dog has become friendly with neighborhood dogs in Chicago...Southside!?!?...in fact (check meaning of fact later), the dog has become best friends with a neighborhood dog named Charley...and Charley runs with the floppy-eared gang and one of the other dogs in the gang once took a crap on one of the sets of a Kevin Bacon movie...some say the dog's crap was a metaphor for Bacon's film...some people become clowns like a Mr. Garrett Kennedy has pointed out...so some do some really dumb crap...so some we can not trust...although, it was reported Bacon was the one that cleaned it up, essentially washing away that metaphor...so, as you can easily comphrehend...Obama's dog's best friend's gang member's shit was once cleaned up by Bacon...that's 3 degrees of separation...my wife and I aren't even that close...Barack Obama and Kevin Bacon are best friends...Bacon has been to a strip club and we all know like eating chicken, blacks are the only ones that go to strip clubs...both just aren't excepted in the white community that doesn't exist...HE'S BLACK ENOUGH"...
...thank you Gary Sheffield for clearing that up...now the only question left other than the ones they repeat for every debate is - "Is Obama White Enough?"...to actually get elected...Mr. Rogers was obviously the most qualified to answer that...the next most was 2 Pac...both of them have passed away...I don't need to tell you to pour out some...I am up for suggestions on who is the most qualified to determine whether someone is white enough...leave some suggestions and until then...try figuring out how white people can start a community...why one love when...two love.

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