To-Do list (fo today)

Below is my To-Do list for today...I'd like to point out that it is now 4:06 AM and I haven't fallen asleep yet...and you can probably tell that I'm ecstatic because look at how much day I have ahead of myself to get all of my To-Do list done...do not copy...or I'm telling...remember the days of "I'm telling"...well, if you don't, and you do copy - I'm telling!...here's the list:

1. Make today's To-Do list

2. Heavily consider erasing To-Do list from blog (so motherfuckers don't copy)

3. Tell Bob Dylan (my house cat) (apartment cat) "good jump Bob"...I truly enjoy telling my cat that his jump from here to there (where he jumped is neither here nor there) was "good"..."Good jump Bob...good jump"...I can't wait to do this later...often he jumps and I compliment him right there and here...and, often, later in the day, I compliment him for his jump from earlier in the day..."That was a good jump Bob...earlier in the day...good jump"

4. Ask Not Yoko (my girlfriend) if "house cat" is one word

5. Check #4 because she said "housecat" is one word (blogger disagrees!)

6. Ask if "apartment cat" should be one word then too

7. Get Not Yoko a tissue

8. Wipe Bumble's, Not Yoko's apartmentcat's, snot off my forehead (mo fo just sneezed on me)

9. Tell Not Yoko, "I am not delirious...it's just funny"...she called me delirious...I can't repeat on here what I called her

10. Point to the sky (for many reason...but mostly for Jesus)

11. Bike on stationary-bike...then tell Bob he can have "next"...or he can have "now"...get off bike if Bob wants "now"

12. Answer fan mail

13. Ask Not Yoko if "fan mail" is one word

14. Check #13...she "thinks so...or it's hyphenated"

15. Get "some" sleep...so you really don't become delirious

16. Finish To-Do list after you get that sleep

I miss Bob...I'm going to go compliment him on his "good jump" from yesterday...it was actually a really good jump...then I'm going to get that sleep...I'll sign back on later to finish this To-Do list...

...Scraps-n-Drafts...

- Commercial - have female doing yoga on rug...male looking at her like what the hell is she doing...he looks at beer glass and confirms that it's the better form of meditation...

- I told a pizza place what I told my girlfriend...if it doesn't fit...get a bigger box...

- Staring Contest as a sporting event...Bring IT!...

- I think about my life and what I've dedicated it to...the most work I've put into something ever...the most I've cared about something was in elementary school...during recess we had to take one lap around the playground...and, I had to be first...someday I'd like to put that passion into my writing...

- Nose hair joke - I feel different today...don't feel like myself...I feel lighter..."What you do?...I cut some nose hair...

- Subway station..."Which way you going?"..."Ok, I'll go this way then"...

- Good thing I wrote the above joke...that'll be the break through one...fo show...

- Skit (for kids!...yeah!)...skit is Andy Sandberg playing Mark Wahlberg talking to animals, a remake of that SNL skit...have some kids being the animals and other kids auditioning for Mark Wahlberg -- "No! You're just being Mark Walhberg. We want you playing Andy Sandberg playing Mark Wahlberg...Yes, I know. He had it easier...he's already Andy Sandberg"...

- People are getting older faster these days...I'm not sure why...maybe something is in the water...or, the chicken...one of the two...probably...

- On train - look at person across from me...roll eyes...for no reason it seems...but, I've got my reasons...get your own...Jerry Sloan...rhyming off the top of my dome...at a later date, dissect my constant struggle to spell the word "rhyme"...rime...r-hime...rim...no, that's rim, as in "Above the Rim", or slightly below, in my case...

- Add to looking at person on train / taking notes of them idea - - they notice you taking notes...they wonder, "Why would someone take notes of me...I suck"...I know you suck, sir...it says so on this here pad...I mean...you're just sitting there...why don't you get up and do something with your life...

- I have a passion for watching the weather channel...so much so that I haven't gone outside in years to actually see any weather...

- Idea - list great experiences ones had in life...a long list of great vacations and accomplishments...but end list with saying - "You haven't lived until...you have thrown a behind-the-back-boogey-pass"...just ask Steve Nash...Johnny Cash don't know...

- Picture / Thousand words..."Yeah, ok"...Take pictures and assume all of them say exactly 1,000 words...write essay conveying what it says in 1,000 words...

- How many times do I have to say
that I know that you know
in order for both of us to know
that both of us don't know...
...and, on we row...or don't...

- Shut up, Garrett

- Take a picture of me
as I look away
and then look back
with an expression like maybe
you don't know, but I know
what is fact
And, just because
I may lack the skills
to articulate thus
Doesn't mean that
the truth isn't such...

- Conviction Essay - write long essay about conviction...do it tomorrow...or next year...and, give examples of people that have unwavering conviction...relate to how I will never succeed at making people laugh until I apply this conviction to what I think is funny...my conviction can start and be based upon my conviction for how much I love my house cat...and how that conviction can teach us all a lesson...I mean...lessons...

...all I'm asking for...

...all I'm asking for...a couple times a year...oh Lord...

...Not Yoko, the better smelling half of the indie-rock slash gangsta rap duo We're Not John and Yoko, brought to my attention (me being Not John) what is most important in life - - the small things...we were kickin' it on this lovely Saturday July summer day, after a late night out with friends and other people who think that we are friends...Facebook has blurred friendship so much that even "THAT" guy thinks I am friends with him..."THAT" guy enjoys pulp in his OJ (Simpson) and I cannot trust anyone that enjoys a meal and a beverage simultaneously...eat then drink...or, drink then eat...If you wondered why you blew up the office bathroom so badly the night of the Office Christmas party that the stank still lingers...well, the answer is because you ate and drank at the same time...I think...anyways, you are getting off topic...the small things...and, well, trust...I cannot trust anyone that doesn't enjoy what Not Yoko brought to my attention while we were weighted to the bed this whole day, nursing the mixture of too many beverages, lack of sleep and Chinese take-out...and come to think of it, I have not had this enjoyment in a long time...all I'm asking for is...a couple times a year...for earwax to fall out my ear...I do not know if that has been pronounced as a national past-time, but for centuries motherfuckers have been overcoming the blues by realizing the enjoyment of the "small things"..."If only 'She' could," the small footed man said...small things - like the enjoyment of earwax falling from ones ear unexpectedly...tell me you have never experienced this enjoyment...and I'll tell you I am looking at a lying-man. While Abe Lincoln was contemplating how to save The Union, stress built up and so did wax up on in them ears...he loved this country...he saw that the continuous of slavery could be the downfall of the nation he was elected to run...but he was "honest"...with others, and himself...so honest, he should have been nicknamed "something" to convey this...he was torn...honesty told him he enjoyed his slaves making him Strawberry smoothies, and providing him late-night bedtime stories and rub-n-tugs that only "friends" could provide...so the legend tells...depression hit...he even started drinking OJ...with pulp...he needed an outlet...he should have gone to the Nike outlets...they have great sales on sweet sneakers that 12 year-old "slaves" stitch to perfection...One day Abe awoke, much like We're Not John and Yoko did today...he walked to the kitchen...looked in the fridge and asked his slave to pour a "tall" glass of OJ...sipped it...and...earwax fell upon his shoulder...he took it off his shoulder...examined it, rolling it between his thumb, pointer and middle finger...word is he even tossed it in the air and caught it a couple times...then tossed it in the fridge at the carton of pulped-OJ...smiling...enjoying the little things...

...Abe realized..."He didn't?"...he realized the OJ needed to be freed from this pulp...just like the slaves from their owners...the little things people...all I'm asking for is that earwax falls out my ear a couple times a year...a rhyme that only a non-pulp drinking motherfucker could create...the small things people...the small things...a belief an Irishman has to prescribe to.