...Sunday Mo Jo...

"...Saturday's gone...it's Sunday and time for some Mo Jo...it's also the day some be lazy...others admit sins to the big guy upstairs...we've gone over this before...I'm not sure upstairs has a big guy...whatever you believe in, be open-minded enough to think, maybe the G.O.D. is a hermaphrodite...and Jesus was the Original Lesbian...only explanation for obsession of the son?...son and lesbo you ask?...get off my pen...it's Sunday, and it's giving me that Sunday feeling of Monday creeping in and feels like it's time for another week of school...but for now it's summer and I don't attend places of higher learning anymore...apparently I'm as high as can be...I'm white and I'm free...as Martin used to say...so many feel Monday creeping in and it's time for many to go back to work...or for others, the safehood of the weekends slipping away, and you can't use "it's the weekend" as an excuse for still not having a summer job...so, for others, it's back to job search time...and as you all can tell, I'm very motivated for the job seeking process...motivated and optimistic to the point I'm already at the interview for "whatever" jobby job...however, I feel the possibility of the runs emerging from yesterday's Mo Jo...but the interview must go on...and they say wearing Huggies during mid-20s is ridiculous...I say they say ridiculous things...and say if wearing diapers lands a job that makes Moms proud, let there be a cushion when I'm answering the money questions:


Interviewer Mo Fo: It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Kennedy...

Me (non-Mo Fo): Oh, I am sure it is...I met myself 20 plus years ago...and I don't recall the exact date, or weather, or any corny-ass details like that...however, I assure you, it was a pleasure to meet me...

Interviewer: Oh, well I see you have a sense of...

(Cut Mo Fo off...show I'm not intimidated by nathan...who would be - rhetorical)...

Me:...I even get humbled at the idea of being in my presence...shake my head at the idea I've met me...

(Interview continues in above fashion...me flawlessness...well...during job interviews, the interviewer will eventually ask the interview-e to name one negative about themselves...I usually say)...

Me: My only flaw is that I don't have a sense of humor...wasn't born with one...however, the lack of one sense often strengthens another...I've got an uncanning ability to smell...and sir, you may smell like shit...but I smell terrific..."...

I haven't heard back from that Mo Fo yet...because like I said, I haven't gone on that interview yet...but we all agree...with the above game plan...who knows if I'll get the job?...Jesus?...but it's certain my below cheeks will be dry - Huggies...work every time...well, except that one time on that date...but we promise that'll never happen again...we'd guarantee thus...but there are no guarantees in life...we aren't sure if you people knew that...so we thought we'd put it in our diaper commercial...once again, this is brought to you by Huggies...enjoy dry below cheeks..."

I recently got an endorsement deal with Huggies...the diaper president is an avid reader of my blog...he liked my style and thought who better to advertise our product, and a role model for the kids too...and apparently...there's a Cup of Sunday Mo Jo...

…some of you ponder…and I encourage all except our present president to ponder…so ponder on, why don’t you?...well, maybe you have like 50 voices going on inside your head like Georgie Boy does, and can’t quite make sense of…well…anything…but some of you are pondering on as if you were a Ponderosa employee of thy month…which has to be an instant boner to the self-esteem machine…a boner to the self-esteem machine similar to that boner to the imagination station…keep on, keep on ponderin’…I’ll get to thy point…

…some of you are pondering where I get this stuff…-“stuff”, a new word to my advanced vocabulary… where do these stuffs come from…or how do I come up with thee, your pondering minds may ask…well, me trying to explain it is difficult…I mean it’s similar the difficulty Richard Simons must experience when explaining how he came up with his work out plan…for his sake…genius…genius must be the only explanation within rationale…what if Richard Simons and Brian Boytano, the Queen of the Escapades, were in the same room?...don’t ponder that too long…because we all like the proper use of the replay, but don’t need a reply of last night’s dinner…moms’ spaghetti is so-so delicious, but not made for seconds until she gets up off her lazy ass and cooks again…

…no, but seriously…I guess I come up with this stuff because…we’ve all got to come up with something…something to do with our lives…this is what I’ve chosen to do presently...who knows if it’ll result in a career…?...the…the big hermaphrodite does upstairs…that’s who…she-he will reveal the answer someday…maybe soon, but probably later…so I’ve chosen to write presently…what have other’s chosen to do?...teachers, lawyers, accountants, doctors, such as gynecologists…gynecologists for the Florida State girl’s volleyball squad…either for them or an old women’s home…

…I enjoy living in a home…it’s home…it’s where most are most comfortable…so I truly enjoy living home…but I never want to be put in a home…it leads to playing Bingo and talking about the weather...but we’ll dissect that later…that and my accidental use of “hand-quotes”…I apologize and admit I should be locked up for doing so…but for now…back to gynecology…let’s keep this classy…

…gynecology…any gynecologists in the place…to be…to be or not to be…thee, not be thy question…for it to be a question reveals a lack of assumption that an answer is assumed to be known…while it be, to be, because if it weren’t, to be, then we wouldn’t exist and therefore couldn’t ask ridiculous questions like, to be or not to be…now this reveals that you shall forget that bullshit your white history teacher slash slave master sold you that there are no stupid questions…for example, you ask before asking what you want to ask…you say, “Can I ask you something?”…you just did…stupid question…back to back on track…

…any gynecologists here?...no of course not…because they are all at home doing research on child porn like Peter Townshend…what kind of pervert do you have to be in order to become a gynecologist…yeah, I know, it’s for the medicine of it…I…was doing “real” research…and it led me to the statistic that 87% of gynecologists resort to priesthood for their 2nd and final career…I guess once you’ve seen all the angles of the vagina, some wine, cookies, Jesus and little boys are the only things left on the to-do list…who actually becomes a gynecologist in life…or a priest for that matter…well, the dissection of the next question I’ll pose may give an answer for us here…

…referring back to the beginning of this classy conversation…talking about classy…2 of my old friends and I were getting, you know, fucked up, at a bar…we hadn’t seen each other in awhile so conversation was slim at first because we only had like 2 drinks in us…other than the generic…how ya doing?...what’s new?...me…oh, well, there is so much new that I don’t know where to begin…so I’ll give ya the generic nothing much…you know…just hangin’ out…so we’re just sittin’ there staring forward at the bottles and taps and bartender’s tits…bartender was a dude, but had the Phil Mickelson syndrome going on and this bar’s a sausage fest…so his chibbychongas will satisfy the eyes for now…oh, and it was an actual sausage fest…the food everywhere…it smelled disgusting in there so I had to use the site of anything to get my nose’s mind off the sausage…even man tits could be an attempt to achieve thy trick…keep feeding me drinks Charley…so it was complete silence for like 3 minutes so I decided to say, “Yeah, yeah, I’m a classy guy, yeah”…now they didn’t confirm…but they didn’t deny either…they actually didn’t react at all like they don’t to most of what I say…but in my book, that is confirming…I classy…my book’s on sale after…you read this…well, it’s on sale now, but don’t leave to buy it now like the last time…the bookstore is where you fuckers must have gone…ok…back to back on track…

…our conversation…how do people become or decide to become gynecologists or priests?...well, remember we talked about voices inside our heads…most people have 1 to 2 to 3…our president Bush has like 50 going at once…that’s why during press conferences he smiles after reporting more deaths in Iraq and tells us every soldier counts after emphasizing APProximately 3,000 have deceased…and now he is right…9-11 and Iraq are linked…

…voices inside our head…we all have them…do you people realize?...we live in a world where people and the voices inside their heads conversate and some where along the line, or maybe between lines, they conclude, that yes, I will become…

…become a clown…what exactly did your mother do so wrong to make you hate her so much for you to become a clown?...look…in the off season, I do porn flicks…but my mom understands…every actor has to start somewhere…and my mom supports that…but no mom supports their child that decides to become a clown…unless the mother’s family was in the circus and she became a clown too…I actually thought about becoming a clown…but then remembered I do have a mother and rejected that idea…but while I was pondering clownhood, I wondered…what’s the market like these days for clowns?...I mean there’s a lot of birthdays coming up next month…and the month after that…I’m not sure after the next…but I’ll get back to you on that…at your kid’s birthday party…whoa…you mean you’re not hiring me to entertain the munchkins?...bullshit…no?…horse manure…maybe I will become a clown…or a priest…

…so there you go…if there are clowns in this world then concluding to become a gynecologist doesn’t seem that ridiculous…except at family events…how’s work going?, the answer to that is not what a gynecologist’s relative wants to hear when singing Jingle Bells with the little shits…or celebrating Kwanza with Joel Osteen, the white preacher that got lost on his way to the church, but now sells out stadiums broadcasted on Black Entertainment…

…yeah BET…I think this is a good transition point for me to announce that I’m pondering on about bringing back the underground railroad…

…hey Whitey…you ever think about creating a station called WET…you know…White Entertainment…no…why?...because that’d be racist?...well, BET certainly isn’t…I’m glad we covered that…and there’s a Cup of Sunday Mo Jo…

...and the Clan picks up...

...so what do you mo fos think of...you know...the Clan (KKK) picking up Kramer...I mean look...what he said was wrong..."I" think what he said was not right...however...from the Clan's perspective...that's a hell of a pick up...no...

...Yes...makes you realize where "K-man" surfaced...

...Sunday Mo Jo...

...Forget what Bob saw...this is what I saw...


I saw a health club in the BK on top of a McDonalds...

I saw Sean Hannity interview MC Hammer and say he still listens to the mo fos' music...

I saw old friends that apparently went to Lifting College......I don't know the exact name for the place of achieving higher self esteem...

I saw a Yank's pitcher that ain't no belly itcher, but was better last season when he didn't wear glasses and couldn't see...

I saw white pee go down the drain and then I yelled out my name for a reason not apparent...

I saw a saw on a bar wall and thought it was time to stop yelling at the bartender for not knowing whom Larry David is...

I saw the word "was" after "David" inside my mind, but realized "is" was the appropiate mo fo for this time...
...he still exists...

I saw in the same bar a canon that made the canon of canons...
...told it gradulations...

I saw a possible mispelled word, but Webster, the little black kid, is a-sleepin'...
...so stop ya complainin'
...this ain't no spelling bee...

I saw only one white man that was truly free and there happen to be a mirror in front of me...

I saw a lovely misses, but when awoke realized she ain't one...
...or has an odd formula for when IT pisses...
...mistaken for tail...

I saw a woman with only one hooter, a man with three and asked him to subtract and not be so full of greed...
...he peed on my new Timberlands...

I saw a musician whose face looked like wrinkled rubber so I wonder why they don't show that for drug education...
...how's that war going
...against your own family members or friends?...ridiculous...

I saw a bucket of KFC and suddenly the realization came upon me how easily a black person could get offended for assumption of the want to eat it...

I saw a pile of books, decided to give my cheeks a few looks...
...sat on 'em and that's why me wiseass...

I saw a woman on the 2-train and received an instant chubby...

I saw a woman on the R-train and received a sudden replay of last nights dinner...
...but a mo fo gotta go that-a-way
...I guess I gotta get use to spittin' up in my own...

I saw that same woman, she now curls her stash like Mr. Fingers.......somebody get her a BIC...and someone else get Phil Mic a better fit on that "Bro"...

I saw you staring right here and I gotta say so that that was quite the dose of the jo...

...and there's a Cup of Sunday Mo Jo...

...Sunday Mo Jo...

This Sunday's Mo Jo has led me to the dissection of the word “Dude”...read on...it's quite fascinating...

According to Webster, the little black kid’s book of words, the word “dude” means:

1. a man extremely fastidious in dress and manner
2. a city dweller unfamiliar with life on the range
3. fellow; guy; sometimes used informally as address (hey, dude, what’s up?).


These definitions are all well and good…but…when hearing the word “dude” we all have pictures of certain people that pop into our head…let’s dissect what a dude really is…Webster, the little black kid…not a dude…
First off, being a dude is not necessarily a diss or a compliment…I don’t make up the rules…I guess it depends on the circumstance…see Kramer is a dude…which is a compliment…well…until he joined the clan and now apologetic white guys don’t want to be dudes anymore…Comedian Lisa Lampanelli, a dude…now for most females being referred to as a dude would destroyed their self-esteem and they’d resort back to their stripping days, but they no longer can use the excuse they’re paying for college and are a single mother…however, Lisa would laugh and take this as a compliment because she’s one of the funniest dudes around…

…who else is a dude?...

Sean Penn, a dude…however, Sean the actual Human (with a capital silent “H”) is not a dude…Sean Penn played a dude in the movie Fast Times at Ridgmont High…this character he played is not a dude just because he’d say “dude”…but like Webster’s definition, it has to do with the way he dressed and wore his hair; his whole body language…
Steve da Bod, a dude…not known to all blog readers…a college friend of my pops…this dude doesn’t drink, but takes off his shirt and dances at friend’s 40th birthday parties…you’re a dude if this is the case…compliment or diss?...well, he’ll take it as a compliment…he’s a dude…picture not available...this site keeps its' shirt on...hopefully our next dude candidate will keep its' shoes on...

Mr. Rogers, a dude…we’ve talked about him before…quite a different kind of dude than da Bod and Sean Penn’s character…a dude always-the-less in Rogers' case…imagine black people watching this guy…they’d say, “this white dude crazy”…

Randy Johnson, a dude…a dude when with the mustache though…on the Yankees he was no dude…don’t mistaken the rocking of thee stash as an automatic dude qualification…Jeopardy Host Alex Trebek has stash but he ain’t no dude…

Johnny Damon, a dude…always been and always will be a dude…he’s just got that dude in him…I’m an occasional underground reporter for the Yankees and I heard him ponder, “Was Jesus a dude? I think yes”...

Stiffler, a dude…the character from American Pie…we all agree he got screwed out of an Oscar on that one…
Rosie O’Donnell, a dude…well, to say she’s a dude overall is just too easy…more specifically she was a dude in the movie A League of Their Own…she certainly is and I’m guessing she agrees that a dude is living on top of Donald Trumps head…

Kenny Mayne, a dude...ESPN personality has had many dude moments over his reporting years...a memorable quote he used to use when reporting on homeruns, "taste like chicken"...I like any dude that mixes sports and chicken...he kind of resembles a more original Stifler...Kenny Manye...more like Kenny the Man...keep up the good work dude...

Thomas Haden Church, a dude…a dude’s dude…know what I’m saying dude…I mean this guy played the dude character in the sitcom Wings…and the character he played in the classic comedy Sideways actually ignited my whole debate of whom is a dude…some mo fos are debatable dudes…nobody can waver, not even Webster, on whether Thomas Haden Church is a dude…

...not many can out dude this mo fo...Thomas Hayden Church is also a mo fo, but that dissection will be saved for another dosage of the jo...more dudes will soon be added...feel free to give ideas on possible dude candidates...that I will most likely ignore...and there's a Cup of Sunday Mo Jo...