Like most college graduates, I’ve had many off-days lately…not off, like an athlete, say, Alex Rodriquez in the playoffs off-days, but vacation days, being in-between odd jobs, not having post-graduation going as I planned…Like that “golden rule” (hand-quotes acceptable in this situation), I don’t remember my “PLANS” (hand-quotes twice in a sentence is pushing it, “Pushing It Real Good”)…
[Sidebar: just released gas and have stunk up my section of library…White guy passes, and I think, “Just another white guy caught up in the mix”]…
…the only thing I remember about my plans is that they “did” involve being unemployed during the summer, but also being extra-productive with my Tuesday by going to the Brooklyn (Brooklyn!) Public Library (Library!) and reading the shit out of Sam Borden’s Complete Idiot’s Guide to Soccer Basics…hence Idiot…while walking around the library for 15 minutes, up and down the same stairs 4 times, I walked by some author’s Idiot’s Guide to Christianity, commenting to the “Peanut Gallery” inside my head, “What Idiot would read that?”…then, finally I admitted my “Idiocracy” and like a “Man” finally accepting he’s lost and asking for directions, I asked a “librarian” (random quotes is always a good time, especially when unemployed) where my Idiot’s Guide was located…and that brings me here…texting my friend Nate about today’s “Daily Nugget” – “At library reading about soccer”…He replied, “fun subject to read about”…I haven’t cracked open, or sunk my tooth (only one left) into this guy yet, but I have a feeling, despite what the blogs say, Nate knows what he’s talking about…this Idiot’s Guide is going to be well worth my time…and so is being an assistant coach for 7th/8th grade soccer this fall…like many college graduates that don’t find careers in their major’s field, I stopped playing soccer before puberty to focus on my studies (of basketball and baseball), and now decided to start coaching this game people can’t decide what to call (it’s soccer…no, I’m a purist, it’s football)…
…It’s inspiring to think what “field” you can end up finding yourself in, and this fall you can find me in/on? a soccer field…I’m going to start “reading” and later will “Twitter”/ “Tweet”? what I’ve learned…
[Sidebar: The whole premise of these “Idiot Guides” is “Brilliant” like those Guinness commercials (I have an endorsement deal with the “Goodness” like your gay uncle has one with the “devil”…and we all know what that means”…???)…Idiot Guide’s premise equals genius…how many Americans are walking around wondering how to do something and come across their Idiot’s Guide and say, “Hey…I’m an idiot…I can read this and do that”…Example…Idiot's Guide to Starting A Band…and that equals ridiculous!…I’ve got the equations for this stuff…I haven’t read the Rolling Stones’ Wikipedia entry, but it’s not “Wild” to guess they didn’t read such a “guide”…Idiot’s Guide to Guiding Oneself Away from the Guide”…Bill Maher suggested reading that after the Christianity guide…
…Outside the library...a guy, he’s old, walks by, it’s sunny…he decides to recite, “Singing in the rain”…someone should prescribe him The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Refraining from Reciting Completely Out of Nowhere Lyrics…Coming Soon!...Also, Idiot’s Guide to Reading Idiot Guides]…
[Sidebar: just released gas and have stunk up my section of library…White guy passes, and I think, “Just another white guy caught up in the mix”]…
…the only thing I remember about my plans is that they “did” involve being unemployed during the summer, but also being extra-productive with my Tuesday by going to the Brooklyn (Brooklyn!) Public Library (Library!) and reading the shit out of Sam Borden’s Complete Idiot’s Guide to Soccer Basics…hence Idiot…while walking around the library for 15 minutes, up and down the same stairs 4 times, I walked by some author’s Idiot’s Guide to Christianity, commenting to the “Peanut Gallery” inside my head, “What Idiot would read that?”…then, finally I admitted my “Idiocracy” and like a “Man” finally accepting he’s lost and asking for directions, I asked a “librarian” (random quotes is always a good time, especially when unemployed) where my Idiot’s Guide was located…and that brings me here…texting my friend Nate about today’s “Daily Nugget” – “At library reading about soccer”…He replied, “fun subject to read about”…I haven’t cracked open, or sunk my tooth (only one left) into this guy yet, but I have a feeling, despite what the blogs say, Nate knows what he’s talking about…this Idiot’s Guide is going to be well worth my time…and so is being an assistant coach for 7th/8th grade soccer this fall…like many college graduates that don’t find careers in their major’s field, I stopped playing soccer before puberty to focus on my studies (of basketball and baseball), and now decided to start coaching this game people can’t decide what to call (it’s soccer…no, I’m a purist, it’s football)…
…It’s inspiring to think what “field” you can end up finding yourself in, and this fall you can find me in/on? a soccer field…I’m going to start “reading” and later will “Twitter”/ “Tweet”? what I’ve learned…
[Sidebar: The whole premise of these “Idiot Guides” is “Brilliant” like those Guinness commercials (I have an endorsement deal with the “Goodness” like your gay uncle has one with the “devil”…and we all know what that means”…???)…Idiot Guide’s premise equals genius…how many Americans are walking around wondering how to do something and come across their Idiot’s Guide and say, “Hey…I’m an idiot…I can read this and do that”…Example…Idiot's Guide to Starting A Band…and that equals ridiculous!…I’ve got the equations for this stuff…I haven’t read the Rolling Stones’ Wikipedia entry, but it’s not “Wild” to guess they didn’t read such a “guide”…Idiot’s Guide to Guiding Oneself Away from the Guide”…Bill Maher suggested reading that after the Christianity guide…
…Outside the library...a guy, he’s old, walks by, it’s sunny…he decides to recite, “Singing in the rain”…someone should prescribe him The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Refraining from Reciting Completely Out of Nowhere Lyrics…Coming Soon!...Also, Idiot’s Guide to Reading Idiot Guides]…
[Sidebar/Sidebar: I think I'll dedicate myself to this field of famous blogging more often otherwise next fall I'll find myself reading another Idiot's Guide and finding myself in/on another field I never planned to be upon]...
